Hi all,

The way things are looking with my WH, I am probably going to be spending more time over here now, was posting a lot on GQII. I think he's going through an early MLC, and is showing no signs of getting his head out of his @$$.

I'm trying to look on all of this as a learning experience... my next relationship will be very different from this one, mostly because I will be different.

I'll be seeing a lawyer on Friday to draft a separation agreement and see if he thinks I have enough proof to file under grounds of adultery, or if it's even worth it. So far WH is being pretty generous about letting me keep most of the furniture, more of the money, less of the debt, etc... so it might be better to just take that and go with it.

What do you think about keeping your married name if you don't have children? We've been married 7 years, I like his last name better than my maiden name, and I'm used to it, so I'm thinking about keeping it... What do you all think?

<small>[ July 16, 2002, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: Jelly Girl ]</small>

Jelly Girl,
Keep it what the heck if you like it better and it has been your name for 7 yrs. plus it just makes everything easier not having to change everything again.... I see nothing wrong with it - I have had my married name for 15 yrs. and I am keeping it but I also have two children.. But I vote for if you like it keep it...

you do what ya want, darlin', but not me! no how, no way!!! I couldn't wait to get rid of his name, his picture, his everything!!! The only thing I still have is the kids!!!

Hi Jelly Girl,
I remember you from the GQ's board. I just moved over to this board a few weeks ago. I decided to take my maiden name back. It was my name for 31 years and I only had his name for 2. But, you have to do what you want. Good luck and keep in touch.

Llama

Do whatever makes YOU YOU YOU happy!!!!!!!!!! If you like it keep it. Heck, nothing is permanent anyway! For a small fee you can change it later to whatever you want, so don't sweat it.
The only permanent things in this life are tattoos and stretch marks!!!!!!

<small>[ July 16, 2002, 03:04 PM: Message edited by: OhMyGoddesss ]</small>

Thanks for your opinions maw64, franklymydears and llama. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I may feel differently when the time comes... I have another five months to make up my mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jelly Girl,

with no kids - do what you want with your name.
I'm going to keep my married name cuz of kids.

Would you mind sharing your separation agreement with me? We could email if you prefer.

Thanks,
D

If I was you, I would just select another name that you like. One of our kids teachers liked Austin, Texas. So she had her name changed to Ms. Austin. She was married, divorced and had 2 grown children. So she wanted a new start and chose a beautiful name. With no children, the selection is yours to choose. I think picking a new name would be a great opportunity to becoming you.

As for me, I will stay with my stbx WH last name. For the kids sake, for nothing else. Plus tohave everything changed, is a bit of a hassle. I really don't care for my maiden name that much, but if the opportunity came for me to select a new last name, I might. That will be way in the future.

I am wondering about this topic myself. I would probably go back to my maiden name in a flash if not for the kids.

However, I believe that my stbx won't want me to carry the coveted surname of his most esteemed and precious family (and YES, they really DO think they are something special).

So I am sure he will want me to drop it.

I WILL, when he remarries. I do not want ANYTHING in common with that woman that I can fix.

And I just MAY change the kids names to mine too, hehehe......nah, but a good thought!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OhMyGoddesss - very true, except I think they can even remove tattoos now with a ruby laser... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WillGetThruThis - nope, I don't mind sharing, is there anything specific you are looking for? Mine could be very different depending on what state you're in (I'm in VA) and the fact that no children are involved.

cry2much - that's a really neat idea, I'll have to think about it... hmmmm... I think my family might freak out, though...

Nina too - I bet you are glad to be getting out of that family! That's also a good point... should H be stupid enough to wind up marrying OW (thereby alienating most of his friends) there would be no way in hell I'd keep that name. Too bad you can't change the kids' names... maybe when they're older you can let them choose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for all the input... lots to think about... Funny, this is my second M and now second D (I got married the first time at 18 - what a mistake!!) and when the first D was final I went from the courthouse to DMV to have my driver's license changed immediately! The thought of keeping his name didn't even cross my mind... but then, it was a very different situation.

I kept my married name. Never even really thought of changing it back. I like his name better than my maiden name, and I've had it for 8 years.... it's everywhere... too much trouble and confusion to change it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />