Well I guess it's comming to an end. My wife and I were married for 6 years and we have 3 kids and now I have been informed that she hasn't felt right from the start and even more so over the last two years. An incident happened with me two years ago that she considered 'cheating' but I don't. What happened was a younger girl at a haunted house in the community I worked at that year litterally jumped up and kissed me. I pulled away and walked off. I didn't tell her right away because I didn't want to get her upset, she was pregnant with our 3rd and olny 'planned' child. SHe had misscarried the previous pregnancy and I was concerned about what an upset would do. After a month of beating myself up about not telling her I finally did. She was upset and forced it on me as being my fault. I tried to reason with her, assuring her that it was nothing and I didn't enjoy it at all but she wouldnt let it go. After a couple weeks of that I broke and did something stupid and immature. I wrote in my journal, which I knew she would read, everything she wanted to hear. I know it was about the most idiotic thing I could of done. But out of anger I thought I could prove a point by saying "Is that what you want to see??" and then maybe she would see how foolish it was. Well like I said I was the fool for doing it. She thought I set up the whole ordeal to get revenge over her internet affair she had had a year before. But we had worked through that and I was more than willing to move on with our lives. She never forgave me for that...which I can understand the journal entry part...I might never forgive myself for it. But back to the point. I have learned that that is a key factor in whats happening now. She said she never trust me and that she did love me before....but that feeling died. We all make mistakes....we all do things that we wish we wouldnt have. I didn't enjoy that kiss.....I never wanted that kiss. I had thought she understood that and we had worked through it. But no, she has held it over me these last two years and now thats what she is using as an excuse. She also says she has had feelings for her ex-bf too and was always curious about being with another man since I was her first. So now I sit here wondering if thats the real reason or is there something else. I have looked through a lot on here and I see a lot of things that apply to her and I. I just feel like there is something out of place...a piece of the puzzle that I can't find that might open up the big picture here. I could understand if I was a person that yelled at her or beat her or went out and slept with anything I came across. But I have been supportive and more that willing to work out any problem that we faced. I have made choices that I should of thought about before I did them but all in all I have tried to be the best person I could. None of my married friends got out at 2:30 in the morning almost nightly in the freezing cold while working two jobs to get their pregnant wives Taco Bell so he could later help hold her hair back while she puked it up from constant morning sickness she suffered from, heh heh heh. That may not sound like much to some but she thought the world and then some of it. (sigh) I guess I just need someone to talk to about this...try to figure out if it is me or if it isn't. Like many of you, I'm sure. I just wish we could work all this out and get back to re-building out marriage....but it may be far too late. If anyone has a story to share with me....advice...or just want to talk about it then please let me know. Thanks much.

Chad Brunk....father of 3....married 6 years...very possibly soon to be divorced.