Hi All,
I have finally ventured to this page after being on JFO since January. I have done the whole Plan A and am in Plan B now. I have had excellent support from MB and seem to have done all I could. At this time I find myself needing to put closure to this and seek a separation/ divorce. My H left for vet school last April and started his A 2 weeks after getting there. I have tried everything, he says he does not have it in him to repair our M. He takes full responsibility and says he does not deserve me. Yet he will do nothing about a separation or divorce. He has left the country and will be away for 2 more years. In the meantime I am suppossed to wait at home to see if he will come back to me. I am done waiting. My LB is empty. It is time for me to move on. I can look back and say I did everything I could to save my M. Tomorrow I am taking the next step by meeting with the first of six lawyers that were recommended to me.
I was wondering if those of you who have traveled on this road already, would have advice on what to ask a lawyer when I first meet with them. I have to decide who to retain. If you look back on your experiences, what would be an important question to ask a lawyer in reguards to this issue. Is there a book or website I could go to to compile a list of important questions? (We do not have any children.)

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Forgiver
PS my Post on JFO is "Please Tell Me What To Say!!"

Forgiver,

I recently asked the same question & was given several websites to reference. Some of the questions depend on which state you live in. You could search the MB forum or just put in divorce & search the web.

There are other avenues besides attorneys, such as mediation, do it yourself divorce on line with various degrees of legal help. I would say it depends on how involved your situation is & if you think he will contest it.

The main thing with out kids is property division. That involves real estate, personal and household goods, IRA's Pensions.......

Cyber Hugs to you,

God Bless,

D.

Forgiver--

Don't know if I can help much, but I had my first consult on 7/9.
At least for me, the main question I had was "How does this work?" and "What do I need to do?"
The lawyer I saw was very helpful. She described, in general, how things proceed and all the steps that need to be taken.
Start with a general question and then ask about anything you don't understand.
I don't know about you, but I could not find a lawyer that did not charge a consultation fee. I got charged $75 for 30 minutes!!! I had planned on "interviewing" more lawyers, but the thought of spending all that money just have them tell me the same things seemed like one more stress to worry about.
Thus, I was very pleased and impressed with the lady I talked to and I am going to hire her if and when I proceed further.

Hope that helps.

Doug

Hi, I'm also interviewing attorneys. List of questions:
1. Will you see me for 1/2 hr without charging me? [Have all your info organized so you don't waste his/her time.]
2. Do you carry malpractice insurance? [1/3 of all attys don't. Bad sign. Could mean they don't have enough assets to worry about protecting them.]
3. How long does it take you to return phone calls?
4. What retainer do you need?
5. How will you bill me?
6. Who else will be working on my case, and what are their hourly rates?
7. If you consult with a partner whose billing rate is higher than yours, am I billed for
a. your rate, b. his/her rate c. time spent by both of you when you are consulting

Look at the state of their office. If they can't find things, don't expect them to be organized on your case.

7.

What to ask depends on where you live, the length of your marriage, how much you have in marital assets, and whether or not you have kids. There is an excellent web site called divorcesource.com. The site will let you go to the appropriate state that will answer questions on child support, spousal support, the grounds, etc. Lawyers; especially divorce attorneys are a certain breed. I live in NJ and I know of none that will see you for free. Everytime they utter a word to you, you are billed. If you anticipate your spouse being difficult, you need an attorney who is experienced and will fight for your rights. If he really doesn't care much then you may be able to file the petition for divorce yourself.

Good luck.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HappyMac:
<strong>What to ask depends on where you live, the length of your marriage, how much you have in marital assets, and whether or not you have kids. There is an excellent web site called divorcesource.com. The site will let you go to the appropriate state that will answer questions on child support, spousal support, the grounds, etc. Lawyers; especially divorce attorneys are a certain breed. I live in NJ and I know of none that will see you for free. Everytime they utter a word to you, you are billed. If you anticipate your spouse being difficult, you need an attorney who is experienced and will fight for your rights. If he really doesn't care much then you may be able to file the petition for divorce yourself.

Good luck.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I went to divorcesource.com and it seemed rather than being billed for every word uttered, you had to pay for every bit of written information. They hook you in with a few paragraphs of what you're looking for then they want the credit card to download 'forms'. I think going to a real live attorney is the best thing. If we can both agree on the same one (the less money we give out to these people the better)

NDC

Going through a divorce myself.

A majority of questions to ask depends on how long you were married. Found that out with my marriage of 24 years. The longer you were married, and being the betrayed spouse, more positives for you.

My lawyer was recommended from 3 people. I had a free consult with him. He has insurance. Time for reply is rapid. Said they would be, and found they are. I am pleased with my lawyers, just saw them Friday, after threats from my stbxWH, and things are being taken care of. I know I did right in selecting this lawyer, of course stbxWH wants to alienate me from the kids of the situation of my lawyers, stating my lawyers are money suckers. It is the control issue of stbxWH.

Good luck, this is a hard step for everyone.