Well, I have been divorced some time now. When I divorced I thought life sucked and it would never get better. I left a good job, moved closer to familly (Bad Move) and couldn't see my son as much as I liked. I told myself that I would never get married again. I would never allow a woman to have that much control over my emotions and me. So I started dateing, but treating women like objects I could use. Man was I an idiot, but I felt used and abused from ex. (I was married 10 years and it hurt something awefull.) I started to drink even more than I already was in my marriage.
Well, I quit my job and moved to familly. BAD MISTAKE! The only good thing that came about was my self realazation. I was talking to my brother's wife. She asked me why was I missing my Ex? (Becuase, I was always angry, never wanted to be home. We ALWAYS argueed.)I said I love her. Well, to that she asked what about her do you love? I couldn't answer that. I remember sitting for over ten minutes to find an answer. The only one was she gave me a child. She said that I just missed the routine of marriage. I had disputted that, till I realized she was correct. Even though EVERY day we argueed, I was use to it and excepted it. SO then she asked me what do me and my ex have in common? We had only our child and bad realationship in common. We grew apart and were different people. I got that feeling of accepting the truth, man I felt better.

Then I was ready to face the world.

I could talk about past misstakes and how to improve and not be a JERK to the women I was seeing. I realized the women that allowed me to date other women at the same time, were not the ones I wanted realationships with. I broke it off with all of them.

Then one day I was talking with my stepdad. We talked about how I was becoming a better person and getting my sh*t together. I told him I still wasn't ever going to get married and that I still felt the same about allowing myself to give a woman control. He told me, "It isn't control, its comprimise." I told him to me that's the same. He said, "One day you will find the one that changes everything and turns your life upside down." I said, "Yeah, right! I always hear this you'll find the one BS." He said, "You'll see. You maybe 29 years old and yes you have lived more than some your age. But this OLD man has lived more than you. You'll see."

We'll it was awhile and I found a job back in my industry and moved to Austin, TX. I got my own apartment, car and furnishings. I had to stay with an old friend, whom I have known for years, while waiting on my apartment to become ready. (about a month) He wanted for me to update him on everything face-to-face. So, I did.

I remember that I said jokingly, "Hey, does your wife have any single friends?" Remind you I still don't want a long relationship, just to have the chance to say, "Yeah, I'm seeing so-and-so." Well, to my surprise, his wife said hey I have a friend that is divorced also. You guys might hit it off. I was like, "Yeah, just what I want, a woman with emotionial baggage." But hey, with my stupid thinking, I said, "OK." She set it up that one day she would come over and have dinner and we'd chat. No expectations.

So the day comes, I get dressed for the occasion. SHe walks in. Man it was like a scene from from one of those "chic fliks", use guys hate to go to. She was the most beautiful woman I ever seen. I then started to think, she's divorced, what's wrong with her? Well, I felt as if this one is WAY out of my league. SO needless to say I spoke maybe 15 words that day. I told my friend that I had no chance in anything with this one. (Not thinking sex, I am not that type. Even when I was being a jerk.) He's like not if you never talk to her. She wanted a roommate to help out with the bills. I said I would think about it, and got her number.

Well, knowing she didn't give me her number out of romantic interested I didn't call. My friends wife asked me what I was going to do? I said I am still going to get my apartment. Just because I was going to be dateing and didn't want to invite women over to her house, for diner or something, with her kids and have them think this is normal. I wouldn't want my ex to do that infront of my son. SO she told her friend that. Well then my friends wife played cupid. Becuase she knew both sides, that I thought she was out of my league and that she thought I was a nice guy and was good looking. SO she set up another dinner.

Well, I made dinner and tried to see if conversation would spark. SHe shows up, more beautiful than the first time. I actually started to talk. TO my surprise we have many things in common. And at the end of the day she asked me if I was thinking about moving in? I told her the same answer I gave my friends wife. THe night ended on a good note. She said, "Well, you have my number call me to talk sometime." I was so happy.

I called her one day when I was planning for the weekend to go dancing. I remembered from our talk that she liked to. She said she was waiting for me to call. I was besides myself. I mean my Ex always told me I wasn't good-looking, No one would want me and I was overwieght. (At this point I have lost 33lbs.) So I was amazed. TO my delight she said she would love to go dancing.

We talked almost everyday till the date. The day of the date, I felt like a high school boy going to prom. I had the best time going out and not feeling like I had to impress her, it came by me just being me. My friend said, "I thought you said you we're treating women like sh*t. What's up you are being to perfect gentleman?" I told him it feels natural. I don't know I feel as if I have known her forever.

Well, SHe was always on my mind. We are so much alike it was scarey. We like alot the same things. But the things we disagree on, we don't try to make the other like. Non-confrontational, Wow! Needless to say we have been seeing each other for a long time now and I still feel like a high schooler, in a good way. We are engaged to get married later this year, and we discussed haveing a child together. SO we decided to have the baby the first year. We are expecting!

I am so happy. God has blessed me with Love and happiness. Don't get me wrong we arguee, but it doesn't feel like that. We compromise. No yelling and screaming. ANd I stoped drinking to excess. I might drink one or two beers, but I haven't drank in 4 months.

So I had to call my stepdad and tell him was right. I was expecting the I told you so, but got I am happy for you.

I smile alot more. I have a great outlook on life. And even when I got hit with layoffs, she said, "You'll find another job." If that would have been my ex, it would have been WWIII.

<small>[ July 19, 2002, 04:25 PM: Message edited by: CandM ]</small>