This is probably more of a vent than anything. My STBXH informed me on Friday that because his business failed and they are filing Chapter 7 that we as officers of the company have to file Chapter 7 as well.
Now I know why he was living on his credit cards and didn't seem to have a care in the world about money. Those bills will go to 0 after we file. I on the other hand have paid off my credit card and worked very hard at paying my 1/2 of the joint credit card that we had a balance on. Don't even know at this time if I will be able to keep my credit card with the 0 balance on it.
My biggest point is that I asked WH what he told his brother about us that was visiting the 1st part of last week. He told him that we were getting a DV. Asked if he told him that he had an A. Actually had the nerve to say NO - because I didn't have an A. Told him whether he wants to admit it to himself or not that he had an A because he wasn't willing to walk away from the realtionship that he had with OW even after I asked him to. Told me that I demanded that he walk away. I informed him that our C at that time was in the room when we discussed this and she agreed that I asked. He told me that some day I would realize that the reason our M failed was because of me. I told him that he is just trying to justify what he has done to our family and me. I told him that when we went to C's last year that I was asking him to spend more time with me and he thought everything and everyone else was more important than me or our M. Told me fine - This was all my fault. Told him thank you that is all I wanted to hear. Of course he wasn't being sincere but I let him think that I thought he was.
This is the real kicker - He wants us to be civil towards each other and work through this. This is the man who wouldn't commit to working on our M, hasn't gotten a paycheck in 6 weeks but yet bought a new dining room table, hasn't given me but one check for 1/2 of the mortgage payment in the last 2 months, and has ruined my credit for the next 6 years. And he wants me to be civil and not bitter or make snide remarks..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Just when I think I have seen it all he comes up with something else. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Bad dream: Make an appointment to see a bankruptcy lawyer for a consultation. The company is filing bankruptcy - not you. This should not ruin your credit as you are not filing personal bankruptcy.

Fingers -
I wish it was that easy. Unfortunately when we started the business I signed as a personal gaurantor on a bank loan/line of credit. (I know call me stupid) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Since the company has filed for bankruptcy and we are officers of the company we have to file personal bankruptcy as well. Still don't know how these things are going to pan out with the DV. Since he hasn't been paid in recent weeks, what is he planning on doing for pay stubs to submit with his financial paperwork. Just one more rollercoaster ride.
Wonder why I'm not sleeping well again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
The thing that gets me the most is that he still doesn't think that he was the cause of all this. He didn't have an affair!!! I was the one that wasn't giving him what he wanted.... His relationship with OW was friends only but I might add, a friendship that he wouldn't have given up. Told me that he loved her and was in love with her. He will find someone else to blame for everyone of his problems. I sure hope that the kids can see through this mess and see the person that he has become. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ July 22, 2002, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Is this a bad dream ]</small>

I don't know what to say about the financial end of it. I can relate to the part where he doesn't recognize the fact that he had an A though. My STBXW has had numerous A's. The latest will be her last. She constantly is stating that they were a result of how I treated her. I admit that I have not met all of her EN's but that does not justify an A. Not to mention, she never brings up or wanted to discuss our marriage until after I would find out about the A. Then she would run around and tell everyone what a terrible person I am.

This is how she and your husband justify what they have done. They can't be accountable for their own actions so they have to play the blame game.

Bad Dream,
You should talk to a good financial attorney before you file for bankruptcy.
Do you own your home?
Is there any equity in it?
There are several different ways you may be able to turn so long as your credit is still in good shape.
Concerning your "H", what did he think he was doing... if he wasn't having an "A"?
These WS's minds get jerked up pretty bad when they are in the heat of it all... it really makes you wonder what planet they are on.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

My WH also denies any A. I have no proof of PA but plenty of EA (emails). He claims they were just 'friends'. Do you tell your friend you were 'heartbroken' you didn't get to see them when they came to town? Or 'never hang up that phone, I'll be there for you whenever you need me'? The OW called me a manipulator, claimed I was 'harming their friendship', and kept telling him to find 'happiness' for himself. He still denies the emotional attachment. And as of 2 wks ago was still in contact (via phone now). He left a month ago and for the past 4 days I (nor my kids) have heard a word from him. Sorry to vent.
It's amazing how the WS will not only deny their A's but also ruin you financially. Mine has threatened to quit his $90k/yr (w/free health insurance, great retirement) job to avoid paying child support. And he thinks that if he wants back, I should welcome him w/open arms! Get a good lawyer and good luck.