I haven't posted in awhile and a few people have emailed me, so thought I'd better show up again. It's been two months since the kids and I moved out. Thanks to the "no contact" order, I don't have to deal with my stbx very often, altho I did have him arrested after he gave me a letter asking me to meet him to "discuss the kids". We've met in court twice, once to extend the no contact order to a year, and once to raise his child support. I won both of them. Somehow, there's no real joy in that.
He sees the kids two nights a week and every other weekend. For the first time ever, the kids are going to theme parks, mini golf, etc. Some might call him a "Disneyland Dad", but I'm just glad he's actually DOING something with them. It's not really parenting, but it's a step towards it, I hope.
I have up and down days. I'm feeling stronger and more confidant as I'm no longer criticized, put down, yelled at, threatened. But somedays I mourn the loss of my dream for a happy marriage. Filing for divorce was like a nail in the coffin to me......altho realistically, we never did have a good marriage, it wasn't likely to ever happen. Time to get over it and move on.
I'm working more with my custom sewing business, and have a job interview tomorrow for a part time job, 8 am to 1 pm M-F, so I can be home with the kids. Hope it works out.
I've been pursuing my interest in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) and working on a Venetian gown, that keeps me quite busy.
One complication, altho a sort of nice one....I met a very nice, single, 35 year old man who's head over heels for me. I explained I wasn't divorced yet; he says that's ok, he can wait. I explained I'm not at all ready for a relationship after an abusive 12 year marriage; he says that's ok, he can wait. I said my kids aren't ready for a new man in my life; he said that's ok, he won't push. Sigh....the problem is, we have alot of interests in common, I really do like him, and I don't want to tell him to get lost......and he really is being patient and not pushy. He thinks I'm wonderful (and I agree <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). I'm paranoid, skeptical, and been burned way too much to trust anyone......so I guess we'll just have to wait and see on that one. Guess this is long enough, say hi if you remember me!

Anna

Ann,

I'm glad to see you post <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sorry things aren't going as well as you want with your ex, but I am glad that he's being more active in their lives, my ex has done the same thing..(although no theme parks and such)..

Wonderful about the new man...and if he's sincere you'll know it...he won't push, he won't manipulate...he will be patient..and kind..hmmm
read 1 Corinthians 13 the great love chapter in the bible and look for those qualities in this man..if he's as wonderful as he sounds it will continue over the test of time..and in his actions and words..just be sure to see that those two things match up..sometimes it's hard when you
come out of an abusive relationship--you want to trust but are afraid that it's not real..and you keep waiting for the shoe to drop..just know that sometimes..it doesn't...

Ask him if he'd be willing to go over some of the priniciples here, ask him to fill out the EN questions and such...and see how he reacts...

Anna,

I;m so glad you've showed up!! I was gonna have to come looking for you! We have finally started putting the Medieval Bedroom together...h has painted almost all of the walls and they look pretty darn good! I am so excited and will post pics (just as soon as I learn how!) when it's done.

As for the guy, what can't you have a friend? After all, that's what spouses are supposed to be, isn't it? Just be friends and let nature take whatever course it will. Friendship doesn't have any strings attached.

Annavon,

Glad you are doing so well.

Just a little warning about the SCA for you (I've been a member for 8 years)... There are a lot of wonderful people in the Society, but not all of them carry values such as honor, courtesy and chivalry into their everyday lives. Someone who may appear to be the epitome of honor could surprise you... like my H (a knight) and the OW (a baroness, as am I) surprised me and many of our friends.

I'm not saying don't get involved, just go in with your eyes open. The SCA can be a lot of fun and I hope you enjoy yourself. Wearing garb can do a lot for your self esteem too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm in Atlantia, where are you?

-JG

TR: I had to laugh at your post. During one of our conversations, I commented to my friend that alot of his opinions on relationships agreed with what I read on MB, and told him about "His Needs, Her Needs". He immediately asked to borrow the book and has been reading it! (Ok, that was scary in itself.)

Frankly, I can't wait to see pics! I went the total opposite on my new bedroom....all romantic florals, 1930's prints in pastels.....hmmm, don't know what I'm trying to say with that.

Jelly Girl; I know the SCA is full of "real people" and the honor and chivalry isn't always real, but thanks for the warning. I've been a "renny" for about 12 years and doing the "wench" thing, but my new friend thinks it's time I get a little more "serious" and do SCA. LOL. It is fun to have that interest in common tho. He does hand engraving and has just started fighting and is every bit as much into fabric and patterns as I am. Our idea of a "hot date" is to explore a fabric store! And then to pull out pattern instructions and read through them to see how "period" they really are. Slightly too good to be true. Oh, I'm in Calontir.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Annavon:
<strong>Guess this is long enough, say hi if you remember me!

Anna</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Although I never did respond to your Posts, I do remember you quoting "Aragorn's Song" from Lord Of The Rings. May God bless you and what future relationships you may have! Yes, there IS hope for those in abusive marriages - I'm one who found hope!
Peace, Harold <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I was wondering last week what was up with you! Glad to hear things are going so well. Keep us posted.

Good news! I just learned that I got the job I interviewed for yesterday, and they even offered me $1.10 more then they originally said the job paid! It is soooo perfect for me....I'll be an assistant cook at the senior center, weekdays only. Low stress, good hours, and doesn't interfere with my own business of embroidery and sewing.

I'm doing a happy dance! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Annavon--

Glad you are doing well!!!

Hey, have you ever heard of Dragonhir? That's my son's latest interest...seems to be part SCA and part Tolkien???

Take Care--

Kathi

Hi!

Send me some of those land-a-great-job vibes, I just applied for one that would be good to get.

Been hoping that not hearing from you was a good thing! I've cut way back on my Internet time, so I don't say hi as much, but I'm always available w/ email.

ttyl