The kids and I are headed out of town to a family reunion on WH's side. They are great to me & think their brother is a total JERK.

I would love to be going on a real vacation instead of going to see WH. BUT, there are some things that need to be dealt with. I will be seeking a legal separation & over this trip will initiate this.

This is all so hard. I could relate to God is in Control - Divorce sucks that even though all this Crap has gone on, she still wants a (healty) M.
I want that too. But WH doesn't. I have found it incredibly hard to let go (yet know it's time).
Has anyone else experienced this? What do you do?

WH won't DV me cus he's Catholic. Now figure this one out, he can justify A's even though he is Catholic. BTW, I am Catholic too and have not found a biblical tohave an A

God Bless,
D.

PS yesterday was a trigger day for me. I refused to write out the date. Of course, I had a lot of checks to write before going out of town, but wrote 7--22 on everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

May you have a safe, peaceful(am I asking a little too much here?) and productive trip.

I still think it's ok to have hope while you're in the marriage, but my therapist says that I need to learn how to identify a lost cause.

Case in point. I spend my time pinig over ExH and then I actually speak to ExH and he reveals his true colors.

Maybe we piners should really stick with Plan A and never lose contact until we totally fall out of love. It makes sense because the more I'm not around ExH the more I forget all of his monsterous qualities that caused me to file for divorce.

Ahh. C'est la vie.

Back to the one day at a time method. It's gotten me this far.

Did you ever read Secrets of the Vine? I reread it recently and it still makes more sense than ever. Codependent No More is also another good read and reread.

Hang in there. God is going to work this out somehow.

And as far as teh WH being Catholic - I too wonder about how my ExH still professes to be of the faith. I told him I'd send him a copy of the Catholic Catecism for a wedding present so that he could learn how to raise our kids Catholic. I don't think he thought it was funny, and really neither do I. I have actually purchased one for him and OW and will be sending it when I learn of the blessed or not so blessed day.

And the weird part is that my ExFIL who reads at Mass and attends Mass every am in lent thinks that I am not being reasonable when I don't let ExH take the children when ExH won't tell me when he will bring them back or where they are or who they are with, and that ExH bascially being a wife beater has nothing to do with ExH taking the kids. Let's see....... if ExH can hurt pregnant wife, could he also not hurt defenseless kids?!?!? Ok, I really see the logic in this one.

Once again. Stay strong. Keep the Faith and Hang in There! K <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

God is in control,

still think it's ok to have hope while you're in the marriage, but my therapist says that I need to learn how to identify a lost cause.
That's me, I have hope but thats just me, it's not anything that WH has done. Did your therapist say how to learn to to ID a lost cause?

Did you ever read Secrets of the Vine? I reread it recently and it still makes more sense than ever. Codependent No More is also another good read and reread.

I have read Secrets of the Vine last time I was up here - it is good. At some point I want to reread it. I also found "Why godly people do ungodly things" very good. I have started going to alanon which is very helpful.

My problem is me, in that I am hanging on to something that is just not there. I also don't like confrontations very well although am getting better at it.

Maybe we piners should really stick with Plan A and never lose contact until we totally fall out of love. It makes sense because the more I'm not around ExH the more I forget all of his monsterous qualities that caused me to file for divorce.

I fell so much better when I'm not around WH. Today in the car, I was feeling horrible & didn't want to see WH. When we dropped off oldest S, WH was asleep, so I didn't even try to wake him.

I found OW2's perfume in the bathroom and pured it down the sink. Good thing I didn''t go crazy like the BS who ran over her WH !!!!! Actually, I felt like dumping it on the tampons that are at his place (not mine) so that when she used them, it would burn her **##$$##@@(*&&&&% you know what !!!

Hang in there. God is going to work this out somehow.

Thanks for the support. Actually a few days ago I flet this overwhelming sense that it was going to be ok. I almost giggled.

Being here sets off so many triggers. tomorrow's family reunion should be good, yet hare cuz I don't know what to say to people. We aren't officially separated (yet we are, WH has lived away from home for a long time.) Please pray that I have the wisdom to find the right words. Tonight my Mom asked how my WH was & I goave her more that she was asking for.

I told him I'd send him a copy of the Catholic Catecism for a wedding present so that he could learn how to raise our kids Catholic

Tee Hee - that's a great idea <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God Bless,
D