What do you do when your STBX is acting like a jerk? We have no children together, thank the Lord, but he's being really nasty. I tried to get through to him about how his lifestyle was destroying him and destroyed us and how we could have had such a great life together, but he just says it was me and my "black cloud of despair" that ruined us and that he escaped to his computer (10 hours a night) to escape me. I was never anything but nice to him, did not badmouth him, tried to show him affection and love - which he continually rejected, supported him while he was out of work a year. A YEAR!!! went through his drug withdrawals when he quit. Hid that from me for 1.5 years! lied to me, etc. and he has the nerve to try to say it was ME. Help me understand this loser. Please!

Hi hopefulgal: My stbxh has also acted like a jerk towards me. We have no children either and he has a severe prescription drug problem. Is there an OW in your case?

After no contact for several months, my stbxh e-mailed me accusing me of all kinds of weird things (all untrue). I found out later he was having financial problems and OW problems at the time and he was taking it out on me. I guess I was an easy target. We certainly wouldn't want to yell at the OW and upset her would we?

I think they are finding out that life isn't so wonderful without us, so they blame us for all their problems and lash out at us. Who else can they take their frustrations out on? What does it matter how they treat us, they have already done us wrong so why not continue. The relationship is already a shambles so they have nothing to lose. It sure is confusing.

No, there is no other woman. Unfornately, or not, it is all because of us. It was doomed from the start...he was a drug addict when I met him - didn't find out until 1.5 years later (married 6 months), he lost job after job, didn't work for a year, lied, deceived me, looked at porn, created erotic art and grotesque pics on the computer, spent 5-10 hours a night on his computer, put a lock on it so I couldn't see, wouldn't go to church, wouldn't touch me, just a total loser, yet I forgave him, stuck by him, still tried to have an intimate and a physical relationship with him, but he rejected me. So, it finally got to the point that he couldn't handle me questioning him about what he does and his sinful activities, so he said he didn't want to be my husband anymore, and I was okay with that! We've been living apart for 4 weeks and it feels great!!! I'm lonely, and even tried to see if he wanted to get back together, but he's made it clear and proven himself a total jerk, that it is COMPLETELY FINAL in my mind now. I'm so over him and glad to be moving on. Thank you for your reply -- I appreciate your time. It sure stinks being in this position though, huh?