Had to delete this one, sorry.

ANNA

<small>[ July 27, 2002, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</small>

Geez!

I bet if the lady had the um, tennis or soccer or base.... to put the reason on the form that the boss will give your sis a little slack on this one. Especially since this seems so out of the norm for her.

The news article about the running over thing is on GQ2, sadly the fellow died, and his daughter was in the car.

A little release is good for the soul. Tell her to have a cup of tea and promise the boss she'll hit the shrinks office toot sweet.

E

There was a woman a couple of years ago here who was someplace and saw her WH's new Suburban in a parking lot. She proceeded to crash her car into the Suburban a couple of times. When she reported it to the police they told her it was her vehicle (they were still married at the time), and she could do whatever she wanted to it.

My X's car still has dents in it where I punched it on a couple of occasions.

<small>[ July 26, 2002, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: idiotguy ]</small>

I think everybody has a "this will push me over the egde button", I don't think no one knows how they would react in such a case, betrayal is one of the cruelist things you can do to another human being......

Jealousy can drive you to do some awful things if not processed correctly, as they say ,respond but don't react because when you react you're not thinking correctly and can do damage thats unreal...

If your sister starts looking inside herself I don't think she will repeat the same thing. I think her buttons were pushed. She needs surviving an affair material and work on her.

Anna,

From reading some of the things others have done I think how your sister reacted was actually normal under the circumstances..she reacted out of hurt..

I'd say the woman wasn't really her friend after all.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Just be there for her, offer her your shoulder to cry on, and your support, share with her the things you've learned here..you may be angry at your BIL right now, but you need to realize that he is also in the fog..and you can maybe encourage him to read some of this information
as well..but what a hard place to be in so that you don't make your sister feel betrayed by talking to him...

You will all be in my prayers..

You have heard of crimes of passion, I'm sure. I'd say this is what your sister did. It was not premeditated, it was her gut reaction. This is not unusual and the very reason why domestic problems are a police nightmare. Many states and countries have laws that let people off with lighter sentences for crimes of passion.

The OW may have given your sister exactly what she needs if charges are pressed. Your sister can say just what happened.. she lost it. Most judges would probably sympathize with her. Especially with then the OW is so blatant as to admit this on a police report. Makes her sound pretty cheap too. She made herself sound like a ?. Well you know.

Though I have never done what your sister did, believe me I've had my fantasies.

What many people do not realize when they play with the emotions and well being of others (WS/OW & affairs) is that it can have ramifications. I am always amazed when I hear of WS's and OP's, who are harming the BS, complaining because the BS is not being Pollyanna. I am not justifying violence.. just stating that some people break under this strain. It is so common that it should be expected.

Additionally I'd like to comment on this: "Jealousy can drive you to do some awful things if not processed correctly, as they say, respond but don't react because when you react you're not thinking correctly and can do damage that's unreal..."

I understand the point trying to be made here. But to liken the pain this woman is going through to simply jealousy is down playing it tremendously. The pain that a BS goes through has little to do with jealously, it's about their world being torn apart, about being lied to, being used and being treated like yesterdays trash. Yes there is some jealousy, but I rather doubt that's what drove this woman to her actions.

Hi all,

Thanks so much for your stories, advice and thoughts. I deleted this because of concerns about exposing it more when she's trying to down play everything. Thanks!

ANNA

<small>[ July 27, 2002, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</small>