I had a hard day yesterday, but I handled it better than I thought I would. I guess the realization that my marriage is really over is starting to sink in and I am beginning my healing process. It has only been one month since my H and I separated, the papers haven't even been drawn up yet, but my H is determined to be divorced. He calls me almost everyday and we have visited him twice since he left, but during the last visit he made it clear that although we still enjoyed spending time together, he still wants this divorce. He called me yesterday to wish me a Happy Anniversary, what a joke, if it were happy, we wouldn't be getting divorced, but I wished him the same and went on with my day. I kept myself busy yesterday so I wouldn't think about it and I guess it worked, I did't shed one tear yesterday. Maybe I am beginning to deal with my fate and face my future. I have really enjoyed reading the posts, they remind me that others are going through similar and sometimes worse situations than me, so I need to thank God for my cross being just heavy enough for me to carry. Anyway, I don't know how long it will take for me to completely be over my feeligs for my STBXH, but I am just taking it one day at a time for now.

(((((((((((Godsgirl1))))))))))

It is really hard to pass a date like that because of the reminders it brings.

It sounds like your STBX doesn't really comprehend what he's doing. It's like he thinks that things will be the same always.

It's hard to Plan A long distance, but if you do you'll eventually lose your love for him and this may help you heal.

Or you could Plan B and then STBX will have a taste of divorce.

However, by experience, if you want an amicable divorce, you should probably just Plan A - or at least be nice until the divorce is final and then go to Plan B.

People can always get remarried and STBX may finally see what he's done. But you have to think of yourself now, and get yourself together without STBX.

Be sure to protect yourself financially.

Sorry that things are not going so well for you.

K

Thank you so much Godisincontrol, it is nice to just recieve your care and concern. You are right, my STBX does seem to want things to stay the same, but without the obligations or accountability, but I have come to realize, things must change. I am trying to do Plan A and be kind and amicable, during this transition stage, but I did tell STBXH that I would not be as accessible for visits and such, that if he wanted this divorce he would have to start handling things on his own, even the kids during his visitation times. It is all still new and we are still trying to work out all the details, but I will try to keep an open mind and heart till the end, without allowing him to take advantage of my kindness.