I am going to court Wednesday morning to settle temorary custody. In Michigan there is a six month waiting period to get a divorce when you have children. So they have a court date to establish custody until the divorce is final. Well, my wife is going for full custody and I'm going for 50/50 custody. It may be the begining of a huge battle. I am and always have been involved with my girls. She knows this and I don't understand why she wants to take them from me like this. Other than she wants that fat check every month for child support. When it comes to 50/50 in Michigan there may be some years, (depending on the holiday schedule), that she may owe me support money. Im my offer I have reduced any money that she may owe me at the end of the year by 50%. That is my way of showing the court system that I am doing this for my kids and not the money. This whole thing makes me sick because I don't want to get a divorce and I have done nothing wrong, (even by her words). Here is the bad part. Typically in a temporary custody case they don't do much research into our lives at this point and the judgement is every Wednesday and every other weekend visitation for the father. My atoourney can fight this but it will be another court date more weeks down the road. I've spent the entire summer hardly seeing my girls and it looks as if it may continue. I'm feeling so sad right now and am just shaking thinking about the possibility that my wife of 12 years want to take the girls from me. Anyone in a simular situation?

I have been there...but on the other side pretty much.

In MO, they really try to encourage joint custody unless there is documented evidence on why that would not be a good idea.

The courts position seems to be that both parents are important for custody. Hope that works out for you. Pat

Well there is no reason for me to not get them a minimum 50/50. My proposed custody schedule is a 3 week rotation. 3 weeks with me, 3 weeks with her. I do have physical proof that I have been involved with my kids forever. PTA, coaching sports, attending the other sports that I don't coach, attending school events, working with them around the house, (yard work, garden, wash cars), home work and other things like that. We fish, play games, swim, roller blade and go to church. I will admit that my wife doesn't like to attend church so we haven't gone in at least a year but I am planning on attending regularly as I did when we were first married. I continue to think that things will go my way but I just have this bad feeling.

I got the custody that I wanted!!! My girls now live with me 12 of 30 days a month!

Now it's all about money. She left and along with leaving she stopped helping out with the bills. That will be the next court date. Who is going to pay for what.

Congratulations!!! It is always nice to hear when someone around here has something go their way... Good luck with the money issues !!! As that can sometimes be tricky depending on what or who you are dealing with... Good Luck...

Money is no longer an issue. My attourney has pretty much informed me to let her do whatever she wants. When the divorce is final in February all this stuff will take care of itself kinda. Basically it will show that she should have been paying some bills per the court order. If she doesn't she will be in violation of a court order. The judge will also see that we did not push it. Thus the judgement will go to the defendant, (that's me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). In the short term she will be hurting me finacially but in the long run I will be finacially good and have custody of my children. I now know the years of trying to fix a bad marriage and working on things would pay off.

STV,
Great news! Make sure you are not responsible for the bills she created after she left.

Also don't count on her paying the bills she was responsible for when you were married.

Most x's seem to feel that they have no responsibilities at all once THEY decide the marriage is over.

My g/f's x owes her money he was supposed to pay when they were divorced 3 yrs ago. Two months ago, he was taken to court for not paying child support for the past 8 months. He claimed he can't pay(even though he can sail every weekend). He was to pay $200 instead of the $600 and the $400 was to accrue. He paid once in June, nothing since.

So, don't count on money down the line.

Hang in!

STV - where do you live in MIchigan. I live near Ann Arbor. We are divorcing, and we have one child that is 16 the rest are older. I have been given full custody of the 16 year old and the rest of the kids live with me.

My stbx is showing his side, pretty bad. Didn't want to disclose his sexual affair, finally admitted to it. Because we were going to deposition the OW in Arizona. He Doesn't want to disclose discovery, we are going to court next week about that. He is a procrastinator, and this is hurting him big time. As far as paying me alimony, he doesn't want to give me money for groceries for the older kids, just the one. So there are 4 of us eating on $182 per week, and we have 4 dogs, 2 cats, and a bird to feed too. It has been pretty tough, my mother bought us food 3 times, and this is not right. He sits at his place and buys gourmet foods, and fresh fruit and vegetables. I see clearly that he doesn't care about our health, our eating habits, our having fun. I can't take the kids out to the movies, or to a cheap dinner. I don't have the money. But he is able to take the kids out to the movies, no problem. He is losing control, and this is bothering him.

Court days are wicked, and I am scared, cause I know how ballistic and angry he gets. He will probably be a wicked man and show his true colors. Hopefully, he will just say find, I will do whatever you want judge. He was a nice guy, but this guy is a wicked man from Rome.

Cry2much

I live in South Western Michigan. Talk to your atourney. The best thing my guy has said to me is don't fuss over anything. You can use the friend of the court also. Be patient. If what you are doing is the best thing for you and you child and you are playing by the rules you will win. the judge will see that. The financial thing is a formula set up based on how many over nights and how much you make and how much he makes.

I don't expect my wife to pay for anything but is what will happen is this. In the end if she stops paying bills and in the following months before the divorce is final that total is 3,000 or 4,000 it will be deducted in the spliting of our assets.

I have worked very hard for years to keep this marriage together. Even though we are getting a divorce all the work I put in is helping me to not get totally screwed by the court system. I am the man and I have the house, a suburban, two snowmobiles and a boat. 50/50 custody of my girls and 100% custody of my two dogs <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . She is living w/ her mom and dad and has nothing. Hard work pays off!