I just thought that this was rather curious - and maybe it's just in my head, but is seems that ExH is still hiding the OW from me.

Now, he did bring her to one of my son's baseball games, but since then, it seems liek he has purposely kept us apart.

Like when he dropped of the kids and she was in the car - he didn't want me to know she was in the car and pulled up the driveway farther than usualso I couldn't see inside. And when I went to pick up the kdis today at his house - where she is currently living and playing wife, she was no where to be found - I would have thought she would have at least made an appearance......

He also doesn't want me calling the hosue to say goodnight to the kids when it's just her there with them.

Is this normal?

They are supposed to be getting married soon, so I would imagine that eventually we're going to meet, especially since she's watching my kids.

Oh well. I just thought this was weird.

K

It is weird!!

Perhaps things aren't as good as they once were, and wont admit it.

Perhaps she is uncomfortable with you, (finnally)

Perhaps xH is trying to accomadate your feelings. (probably not)

Have you asked?

I would insist on being able to call my kids and say goodnight and give them kisses and hugs, and wish them good dreams.

It is weird and I hope others will pop in with their thoughts should be interesting!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I don't have any comments other than I wish I were in that situation. My ex can't wait to flaunt his OW in front of all of us. I hate it....

GIIC I think maybe OW is insecure. And maybe he is trying to spare her feelings. Just a thought. Or maybe he is insecure about her! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
My XH told me recently how threatened his wife felt about me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Apparently she thought he would go back to me or something.... I laugh to myself when I think about this.... because it is really funny, I've never even seen what she looks like and don't want to.

Dawn is right - you should be able to contact your children whenever you please. Too bad if OW feels insecure.... you call your children to say good night!

Love and care
Pantha

One word: Guilt?

God is in control,

That sounds like a good thing to me, not having to see her face or deal with her. (Whatever his reasons may be)

As for the kids, I would call anyway or have them call me.

God Bless,
D.

<small>[ July 31, 2002, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

GIIC: My stbxh kept his first wife and I apart for 7 years. He told me horrible things about her and, unfortunately, I believed him. After we separated, I called her and we have actually become friends. I discovered that he had done the exact same things to his first wife that he did to me. That is why I think he kept us apart. He didn't want us comparing notes.

BINGO with Fingers!!

you see, your X's victory was a hard fought victory, a real struggle, and he was found victorious . . . .

yet, what he has now is not what he had awhile ago, and to realize that the fire is already half way out. . that physical sex feels the same with whomever,

but emotional sex feels alot better. . . and since the emotional sex can be fueled by secrecy. . . once the secret is out, the emotional relationship bubble has popped. . .

he may be finding out that he is in the exact same place as he was before, or possibly worse. . and that would be very difficult to handle to allow you to even figure that out. . . remember, perceptions are everything in this case, and he can't risk loosing the perception he has won over you . . .

find a life. . .

wiftty

GiC,

I hve the same situation as you. My ex's boyfriend has come over to my ex-house when I have been talking to my kids and pulled into the driveway, saw me and pulled out again. Another time, he dropped ex off at my ex-house again and rather than pull in or up to the driveway, he chose to stop inf ront of a great big bush that hid his car.

I did see him for a few innings at my son's baseball game a few weeks ago but no words were exchanged. I can't decide if its him or ex who is more uncomfortable. I suppose that she is worried that we might exchange words and get ugly, but really that is not my nature and she knows that.

Really weird, huh--but I have to say it is somewhat gratifying to think that after they sneaked around all those months, they feel that they can't live their relationship in the open. Kinda serves them right.

Lou

Thanks for all the great responses!

I think that for my emotional well being right now, it's probably better that he is hiding her, because I'm sure she'll emerge soon enough, and that will be tough to take.

I sympathize for all the BS's who gets the OP flaunted in their faces. It just shows how utterly devoid those people are of any real emotion, tack, compassion, name any decent human feeling and they are either lacking it or suppressing it.

I know that WS is lying to OW, and there is plenty I could tell her, but she's in the fog too, so it would be a waste of time. She either already knows the problems and is stuck with the bed she made or is simply still ignoring the problems that occurring in her new life. If is nice to have th enice new house, furniture etc. but it's all superfical - no substance and without the substance the relationship will fall apart.

But it's still too early in their relationship for reality to have really set in.

Yes, WIFFTY, "find a life" seems to be the most recent message that I've been given, and I finally think taht I'm up to the challenge. At least I'm moving in the right direction, albiet very slowly it seems. I think that my ExH's fear of abandonment really kicked in when I changed the locks on him - pretty classic for a BPD person. But I had no idea at the time of his real personality traits.

The WS's seem to be doing what WIFFTY said - the WS is trying to prove they've won - trying to prove it to themselves actually. But to me it just looks pathetic.

So, it's time once again to stop dwelling on ExH and refocus my energy on me. I hope that all other BS's can learn to do the same. It's not easy, but it's healthy and we deserve it!

K

<small>[ July 31, 2002, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</small>

x never told me he was getting married. Never told me he had gotten married. Never introduced me to new wife. We introduced ourselves. And I like her more than I like him.