Okay here's the deal.. My H was cheating on me and got caught in November 2000. I agreed to work on things and try to forgive him. Provided he would not make any contact with her again. I trusted that he was sincere. Well December 30th he told me that he was moving in with her...that its not going to work. Without giving it much of a try. So I dealt with it. I moved in with my parents as I was a stay at home mom and couldn't find a job fast enough to pay rent ect. Anyways, we were getting along better then we had in a long time and he wanted to get back together and start a new. He moved out of her place and We moved to a differant city. I still living with my parents to see if it will continue to go well. I start moving my stuff in with him and find out he is still cheating on me with the same woman. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I moved my stuff back in with parents and work on me and my life. He continued to want a sexual relationship with me and I was in need of sex so I agreed. I received the Divorce papers on 6-22-01. We date while waiting for the divorce to be final because he seems like a changed person & we are getting along great. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I forgot to mention that he gave me his wedding ring and told me that when I am ready to be with him again to give it back to him. I seriously thought about it & decided that it would be best for us and our family to stay together. I gave him the ring back on December 8, 2002 & the divorce was stopped. I moved in with him in that January. On January 28, 2002 I got a visit from the person that he cheated on me with. I controlled myself even though I was told hurtful things like they were still seeing each other. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> In this time she has been harrassing me via phone & internet. I stayed with him yet again as they both agreed to dicontinue contact. I found out that she went to his office on his birthday that Febuary and he was okay with that and thought it was okay for her to see him to say a final Goodbye! It's now August and we are still together. There is a little more trust there as I know she is no longer around & he spends a lot of his time with me & our daughter. And thank GOD!! The harrassment has stopped:) I was on the computer discovered a file that had very hurtful things written about me and his daughter that he wrote as well as dirty pictures of him and her together sexually. I asked him about this and he tells me that he called the lawyer the divorce is being processed again. He tells me that he has proven to be completely trustworthy again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I am told that the divorce will be final in a couple of months and don't know where to start. I have also gone through loosing our baby we were expecting since I have moved back in with him. I'm a mess and probably crazy for wanting this to work. Im so angry, confused, & emotional I don't know how to act. Am I the only one who is feeling this way?

Angel,

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Welcome to MB. Read everything you can on the site. There's lots of help here.

I think you should run, run, run to a marriage counselor TODAY!!! First, it sounds like your husband is holding you 'hostage' emotionally---if you say anything he doesn't agree with, then the divorce is back on. That's no way to live, honey.

This man sounds as if he doesn't have a clue what's going on inside his own head. You all need to see a counselor right away---I believe it's the only hope...I think this is bigger than the both of you right now.

He's put you through a lot of heartache for sure---but if you are going to heal, you are going to have to let go of the past and go forward from today. Counseling is the first step. Will he go?