I would like to hear from spouses that have left their wife or husband for another person. My qestion is was the person you left your spouse and family for worth it? Is your life any better with this person? Just trying to understand why my X is filled with so much anger.

m-17 yrs 9 months
c-13,28, 7 gd
h-42 w-48
d-5-23-02

ow-30
c-3 under 10
m-10 yrs
d-july 2002

I didn't have to leave to know that what my h has to offer is loads better than what I would have had with om.

I got as far as getting a flat with this new man in my life, told everyone (not the kids, that was minues away) about my husband and me divorcing - and never could go through it. I suddenly and instictively knew these two men were so different: my husband filling every other need I had except for need for discussion. This new man in my life filled it and it felt so good. Thank God, I came to my senses! I almost gave up on an almost-perfect marriage.
I think it had a lot to do with the fact that during our affair I got (in a way) all my needs met and I gave all the credit to this new man. Not realizing where most of the credit lay elsewhere.
Now we're trying to work everything out. Since it'll take a year to get off this job, I'll see this guy during the following year and he doesn't understand it's really over, I'm experiencing extra trouble. My husband is patient enough to understand.

thank you for being honest about your feelings.

X kept saying it had gone too far when I ask him to come home. wasnt sure what he was talking about til now. before our D he got financially involved with MOW. She left her H thinking she was going to have more money. Finance was their problem. I believe its hard for X to talk to me because of guilt & because of false pride. looking into OW 3 small boys faces knowing that they blame you for their parents breakup has to be hard. I told our son to pray for his dad, one day he will change. somewhere deep inside is the old person we once knew. our son doesnt want dad home, the trust is gone.

together: I am not a WS. I am the BS. However, I thought I would let you know what my stbxh has gotten himself into since he left me for OW:

He has severe financial problems; severe health problems (in hospital for a week in March and subsequent surgeries); he no longer travels for pleasure; business collegues tell me he is messing up at work; prescription drug problem has gotten worse; he is living in a small two bedroom house with OW and three teenagers (one is a juvenile delinquent with a criminal record); OW is pregnant with twins; OW hired an attorney and threatened to sue him for paternity; and he has to financially support OW and her children as she is in bankruptcy and doesn't work and never will (she is permanently disabled).

I am sure there are many other problems that I do not know about but I would say that his life is definitely not better with this person. There is some justice in this world.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by together:
<strong>My qestion is was the person you left your spouse and family for worth it?

Is your life any better with this person?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My answers: "Yes" and "Yes!!!"

Friends, coworkers, and family have all commented on how much happier we (me and OW) both seem to be. We are getting our debt paid off and are both going back to graduate school. It's been almost a year since my divorce was final. Neither of us has children.

~d