while taking my 13 yr old son friend home after a 3 day sleepover we saw a rainbow in the sky. It had not rain today so it was nice to see. I felt at peace watching it, felt that everything was going to be ok now. we came home and had a long talk together.It was time to make our plans for the future together without dad. very proud of how he has growned up in just a short time. since my surgery on wed he has been helping around the house. I know that God will be looking after us. talked about praying for dad that he will give God a chance in his life. There was good in him at one time. we will keep OW H & their 3 boys in our prayers that they will make it through the bad times. only problem with our son is he is bitter towards dad, trying to get a teenager to forgive is going to take a lot of praying by both of us. I dont want the D to take away his childhood from him. I know in my heart that everything will be fine, we are going to make it.

m-17 yrs 9 months
h-42 w-48
c-13, 28, 7 gd
d-5-23-02

ow-30
c-3 under 10
m-10
d-july 2002

Yes, that is hard for a teenage boy to accept the actions of their father. This is the man who was suppose to be their idle. My WH - stbx had a father that he was not proud of, now he has set the example of a man marries so one should not be vow kept to their marriage, so go screw someone else while married. My one son has a hard time dealing with this, I have talked to him, and he hates his father for this. Said dad has no morals, which I told him he doesn't. He heard his father say over and over that his father has no remorse or guilt over the affair.

This son is getting more aggressive, and this is causing concern. One of the signs of disruption in their mind, been talking with the counselor about this. The other son has actually be more approachable on talking. We have had some good talks.

All kids are going to react in different manners, we are there for them to talk to, the wayward spouse doesn't care about their kids. I have many many marriagebuilders posts that SNL did, on why does he have to care about the kids, care about me, care about his mother, care about his family. Why can't he and the OW just be happy together. Judge will see these posts, and the judge can go from there. That is why we have to go to court, and get things settled in court. SNL doesn't want to cooperate, and is causing us to spend more money on lawyers, cause he doesn't want to cooperate. Also, he is doing things that have been against the court orders. But he turns them around on me and states, that that will make me happy. It doesn't, it actually makes me sad, but I can't do anything about it, just don't bring it up to the court, and let him do whatever he wants to when he wants to and how he wants to. Therefore, I will get screwed.

The rainbow you saw was a sign of peace and a path of bright colors. You are moving forward, and most betrayed spouses will move forward, it is a tough path, but one that is necessary. I am moving forward, and I am finding peace within myself, and the actions I am taking. I am looking at houses, and possibilities to make some money. Don't know what the future will be, but I can say one thing, it will be without him in my life. Just the necessary talk that needs to be done, it is what he wanted in the first place, so he is going to get what he wanted. I don't know if we will ever be friends again, I don't trust this man, and I don't trust being in the same room with him. Like going to court, I will not ride in the same vehicle with him, he might try to drive off a bridge, or throw me out on the road. He has threatened me with pushing me out the door of a vehicle.

crytomuch:

stbx sounds a lot like my X. was a cop til caught with MOW on duty. He tried using the dept to have me arrested by 2 of his girlfriends. this cost him & chief of police their jobs, not fired it was covered up. bought a house 350 miles away in fl. was going to move in few months but now X wont pay the fees for sons church school. he told us he would pay the full amount, then in court changed mind, now just half. X had the money to buy MOW a new car before D, mine is 7 yrs old. son will start public school next week older brother will keep him while I pack & get a uhaul. its not going to be easly packing just had surgery last wed for carpal tunnel. the stuff he does hurts our son, no money for school. being 150 lbs over weight is the reason I didnt want him to go to public schools. depression about D made him gain weight. the kids will make fun of him. I dont work because of illness, 48 yrs old still need 2 more operations, havent worked in 13 yrs. After 6 months we will be living on $490 month, judge wouldnt rule on X military retirement after 17 yrs of M, you only need 10 yrs to get it. I can make the house payments because older son & wife will live with me. After everything that has happen I would do it again just to be free & away from this redneck state (al.)where they care more about your hounddog or a mans pickup truck than family.