I can really relate to this post.

I was a stay at home mom who hadn't worked for 5 years when my divorce was final.

I had no job prospects in the state I was in so I moved far away with my kids to get a job and be closer to my family. Within 3 months of divorce, I was working full time.

There are alot of hurdles to overcome in a divorce and employment and retirement are part of it. I am resolved to working for a long time as I will never trust another person with my future or livelihood as long as I live. This is not what I had planned for myself and not what I had hoped for, but what choice did I have?

I try to make the most of it and I am so blessed that I am able to support us all.

God bless all the working women out there. We all have stories to tell, don't we?

Walmart greeter with a purple hat and no bra.....WHAT has the world come to????

*laugh* seriously...I am working a great job right now but it's part-time hours with NO hope of full-time hours..... I keep pushing out the resumes...and if I say so myself it looks DAMN good!! :-) The job market up here (Canada-Alberta) is really tough. My neice has her degree and has been looking for over a year -- again it's the *experience* thing. I have registered with 5 temporary agencies and continue to *beg* for more hours, taking away time with my daughter in the evenings.

So...for those of you that have faith...PRAY that I get a full-time day job that will keep me and little one afloat!

Thanks for all your hints....and tips....but honest..you wouldn't wanna see me without a bra! lol....my waist would look ohhhhh so much bigger!

I too can relate to this post! It made me laugh too and that is a good thing these days <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I think it makes me look pathetic but I have to admit I am scared to think of going it alone and supporting myself the rest of my life. The thought of working full time, day after day, after day, just seems overwhelming to me. I am embarassed to admit this and I am not proud to feel this way </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is a scary thought for me too. I have been waffling as to tell WH that I want a legal separtation & go with whatever the consequences (no doubt financial ... business in serious trouble ) or just hang in there a while to get on better financial footing. (WH lives 1200 miles away so it's not like he is in my face everyday. I can't seem to come to a decision that I am comfortable with to take action on. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Can anyone relate to this? I feel lazy and unmotivated when I admit this to myself </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This exact though crossed my mind yesterday while getting the tractor mower out of the garage for my YS to cut grass. I work P/T at home and love it. I don't want to go out and get a job (there are not many good paying jobs her either) I love being here for my kids. I love working in my jammies, or nekkid, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> or in my swimsuit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I like being flexible to go to kids events. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I like that if I'm not feeling well, that no one can see me and I can go take a nap if I want. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I feel totally unmotivated to go out looking for a job. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

God Bless,

d.

<small>[ August 07, 2002, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Just wanted to say thank you to all who have posted and shared their thoughts, humor, compassion, love.
I will be praying for all of you: frankly, just, sin, curious, Elan, misery, avondale, Will, jtois. and everyone on these boards that are going through rough times.
As I had said before I don't know where I should be posting as my situation is kinda weird.We are still together but talking about divorce but want to wait till our son has graduated from high school which is two more years. I moved out 2 1/2 years ago for 4 months but then wanted to give it another go and everything seemed so much better for about a year but then it seemed things started going back to the old way. My husband agreed last night to read His Needs Her Needs. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't read it. We have alot of issues(I'll spare you the details for now) that I can't see being worked out, so that is why I feel divorce is probably the right route for us and something I must face if not now in the next two years.


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Chris

here's a thought..... I've been thinking about this long and hard -- the fear of getting out and having a job etc. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

For me, the job I had for all those years was taking care of my family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I knew how to do it well and I managed to do *everything* for everyone but myself. It's called co-dependancy. I took care of everyone BUT me! Now -- I have to concentrate on *me* and I have no idea how to do it. The minute I do anything for myself I feel these huge pangs of guilt. My family (children, ex) have told me how *selfish* I am.

Of COURSE I'm *selfish*!!! NEVER did they EVER see me do anything for myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> -- and the second I do something for myself they take offence! I have to learn how to *ask* for help...and I'm asking for it now...here, where some of you have those *same* feelings of fear or failure or maybe fear that you won't *do* the job right once you get it, therefore why bother going out and getting it! *sigh* <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . If they could can self-confidence, I'd be loading up my car right now!

Thanks everyone...this is really helping me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Elan,

I can relate to the codependency thing. I have always gained my sense of self through doing for others. Even my job(nursing) is kinda like that!!!

I don't remember if you said what your degree is in? But I do remember you finished at the top of your class so I know your smart and the right job will come along.

Hang in there everyone! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

CHRIS,

Just a thought but what if you put HNHN in the bathroom real close to the toilet? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I'm serious! Perhaps he will pick it up while he's just sitting there. Maybe the two year deal isn't so bad. It will give you time to get the job thing situated, money for cushion in the bank AND it is just possible that your h will start ot wise up in the meantime. I mean he did agree to read the book-that's something.

Frankly,

That is a good idea. And I had been thinking more about trying to give it more effort if he is willing to actually read the book and apply some of it.
I always feel like I am "selling out" though ya know. Like okay here goes weak me giving in again and not sticking to my decision to move forward with my own life. I know my children love and support me but that is the thing they have both said to me they want to see me make a decision and stick to it (one way or the other) My daughter really has lost some respect for me because of the wishy washy way I have been. But you know I still love him and I know he loves me (in his own way) but he definetly needs to learn from the book HNHN

"I'll think about it tomorrow"

"Tommorow is another day" sigh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

and one day your kids will understand what it is to love someone who doesn't meet all of your expectations but you love them enough to stay.

It's a universal phenomenon.

It's certainly not a black and white decision is it??
But I know I feel some loss of respect for myself that I can't make a decision, but it is not simple.
LIFE IS NOT SIMPLE!!
I think you have to "been there done that" to truely understand.
Thanks for understanding and not judging. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Soo...on what aisle in Wal-Mart would I find canned self-confidence? In the co-dependency section? Maybe that's our way to financial freedom...A new product to market! We could start a company that distributes it. And I can see some of you ladies there at the store, either shopping or greeting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FRANKLY, I totally agree with your universal phenomenon statement; so glad to know others are here on this BB.

TRYING, a lot can happen in two years! And it can be good stuff, too! Think of it as an opportunity to grow either in your own personal life or in your marriage or both...

Oh, no, dahlin'. You get self-confidence the way you get anything else worth having in life...hard work, self-honesty, and a good kick in the pants now and then. Although, I would like to market the kick in the pants. It should be a great seller because almost everyone I know could use one.

"COME ONE, COME ALL TO AISLE 3 FOR A GOOD SWIFT KICK IN THE PANTS"
A new position at Walmart..... the store barker! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Purple hat....barker...no bra's... hmmmm.... maybe I *can* find a more suitable job? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Let's talk *experience* and how do you *sell* yourself when we have all these wonderful skills? Anyone have any great websites that help develop resumes?

My degree is in journalism -- and no...I don't want to be a reporter.