Hi Fellow MB's -

It's been a while since I posted. I just couriered an affidavit to my STBX's attorney so I don't need to appear in court. Apparently, she will take it and have a judge to sign it this week and then the divorce is final. STrange how fast it can all happen.

I had my last session with my therapist last Thursday. I began seeing her mid April twice every week. She says (and I feel) that I am very healthy. I did ALOT of hard work (still continuing to do so). This has made me SO strong and feeling good about myself.

My STBXH was a bit of a jerk last week, but I didn't let that get me down. It's very obvious to me now that he is extremely unhappy and is bitter because I'm feeling better about myself and it's showing.

He was going to relocate, but now it appears he is staying in town. He actually told me that this town (we live in a BIG city) isn't big enough for the two of us. I about laughed out loud. I haven't run into ONE person that is a friend of his since we separated. I guess he has run into a few people who know me and/or us.

It's strange looking back on my journal and my postings here on MB's what a mess I was just under four months ago and how strangely good I feel now. It was sad on my last day of therapy. Just thinking back to my first couple of times there when I could hardly get a full sentence out without crying.

Finances have been quite tough - but slowly but surely, I'm making it. I will be refinancing the house soon - I have 90 days from the finalization of the divorce to do so.

Just returned from a week's vacation. I did nothing but sit on my franny and relax. Caught some rays and enjoyed myself. Went to visit an old lighthouse in FL by myself. It was such a great experience - I climbed 203 steps to reach the top. I felt like I was literally on top of the world.

I've lost about 20-25 pounds. Feel really great in my skin - am wearing clothes I haven't worn in years! Am getting compliments about my appearance from just about everyone!

I guess one of the strangest things for me is not talking to my mother in law. We were (or I thought) really close. She was all about supporting me no matter what decision I made - that even she couldn't be married to her son. Funny how once I made the decision to move forward with the divorce that I haven't heard from her. At first my feeling were hurt - now I'm like "whatever".

I have spent so much of my time worrying about everyone else but ME. I just don't have the time or energy to do that anymore. It's not healthy. And, right now, I'm about being healthy.

My STBXH just emailed me that he is indeed moving November 1 - starting fresh - taking care of himself. So, I'm glad to hear that. I had a feeling if he was still here that he would check up on me and keep tabs on what I was doing.

Thanks to everyone who has offered me their support and kindness over the last four months. I do keep lurking and checking on how everyone is doing.

Llama Hhugs,
Llama

Hi llama: You sound like you are doing great. I like how you are doing things for yourself. Keep it up. You are an inspiration.

You do sound great.

{{{{Llama}}}}

Thanks for posting! It sounds like you are doing well. I just read your whole story today and it gave me some comfort. I could see some similarities in our stories. Mostly how hard we both tried to work on our M but our H's didn't feel the same. Although your H seemed more willing than mine. Mine is just a plain ol'coward. He wouldn't even talk to me. Just got on a plane and left the country.

I admire your strength and can appreciate your feeling good about yourself. I can identify with the feelings of getting stronger since I feel empowered as well after going through this. I have changed my life and I like who I have become.

It was reassuring to see how fast your Dv went. I am still hedging about filing. I want to without a doubt- it is just i have issues to how my MIL will react. After feeding her all I have learned at MB she is still stuck in the "A will die naturally, just let it happen." She is convinced it will die and my H will come back and we will be better than before. Once I tell her I have had it (which I have) I fear it will be about divorcing her. I also don't want to lose my home.
Your SYBXH will be very sorry he lost the best thing that will ever happen to him.
So thanks for posting and being an inspiration. I hope my D goes as well as yours.
Thanks again,
Forgiver

Fingers - WOW, thank you. I always looked to all of you as my inspiration. That was quite a complement.

Newly - Thanks for your kind words.

Forgiver - Thanks for the hugs. You need them too. I appreciate you reading my story. My STBXH is a real mess right now. Crazy thing is, I understand about what you mean with your MIL. Mine was so supportive in talk. But when it came right to it, she isn't. You have to do what you need for you. Do you have children or is it just the two of you? In the beginning I thought it was quitting to divorce and that it takes real courage to work on a marriage - but I also realize that it takes alot of courage to divorce and remove yourself from a bad situation that will not change. Take care of you - Forgiver. Please keep me posted on your progress and thanks again for your words.

Llama

It sounds like you are doing great!!! I am getting there!! I am new on this board, and love it. So much love & encouragement.

I have been divorced since september/01. Moved out of our house October/01. I have bad & good moments, but am doing better. I think i made the mistake of letting him back in so many times, and i think he just tries to keep me hanging on still. The letting go has been the worst for me. Even though i would NEVER go back to him, he was the WORLDS WORST HUSBAND. He will never change. He was 8 years younger than me. We separated at least 5 times in the years we were married, and i filed for divorce 2 other times, before the last one, which was final.

Each day i am feeling better & better about myself. I bought my own house, (didn't want the one we had together at all), i too have lost 30 pounds, (5 more to go) and feel great. I am really working on this "letting go" thing now. He still wants me to be his "best friend" (and more sometimes) and i can't be anymore.

Anyway, enough rambling, sounds like you are doing great <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

llama-

The divorce process does move rather quickly.

It's good that you've progressed in therapy and that things are looking up. You've done what you've needed to do to get yourself together. That really says something.

My MIL basically traded me in for the new OW, and after I did so much for her and her family, she'll never know.

Anyway, I guess the lesson is if you do the work on yourself then time does heal. However, I'm going on 12 months and I'm still having ups and downs. Maybe in another year for me.......

Good luck to you. It's hard to know what to say or how to feel on the day you divorce. Try to focus on the positives, and know that you did the best you could.

K

Just curious....why is your user name Llama?
NDC

NDC-
I like llamas and my dog's nickname is Llama too. And, I couldn't think of a clever name when I registered here. Ha ha.

Llama

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by llama:
<strong>NDC-
I like llamas and my dog's nickname is Llama too. And, I couldn't think of a clever name when I registered here. Ha ha.

Llama</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks! The reason I asked, is there is a fabulous adult alternative band called Cowboy Junkies and their 'followers' are called llamas. (long story) As a matter of fact, on their ubb message board, we are considered llamas and not members. Anyway, their music is wonderful and I recommend it to anyone going through all these relationship turmoils.

You sound like you are doing awesome!

My Dad always says that you can't make someone love you...

But it really sounds like you love you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

E

Hi Elizabeth-
Good to hear from you! I do love me! hope you are doing well.
Llama