Hi Im new to this forum and in desperate need of help... My story is slightly strange or to many it may not seem strange at all. Im 26 and have been married for 3 years and finally realised my marriage never started in the first place. It was a disastor to begin with.I finally filed for divorce myself b/c my H said he didnt have the time to do it... how casually they can take it. It was am emotional drame to begin with. He was controlling and isolated me from my family. I loved him so much that I was willing to change everything for him. I now see that as my fault. We dont have any children and I thank God for that now... I dont know how he would have hurt me with that one...
Anyway I finally did file since he said he had no time and we agreed to an uncontested divorce.The decree was made out how he wanted it and once I showed it to him he said he woasnt ready to sign it... Till now it might not seem like a biggie but the thing is I will be out of the country for 6 months...and will not be able to come to the US...if he doesnt sign what happens? Will I be able to get a divorce if he leaves the country... All of this is so confusing to me.I live in Texas and we filed thru no fault which is yucky to begin with <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Please give me some advise if some one can...I would greatly appreciate it...

Hi, I live in Texas also - don't know any details of your Uncontested Divorce - however I do know Texas is a Community Property State - no matter what the Divorce Decree says. It sounds like your Husband is having Second Thoughts maybe? It might just be worth mentioning it to him again, and if he says NO, then light it up with a match and tell him - "You want a Divorce, then YOU draw up the papers - the ball is in your court now." Perhaps that will be a starter for possible marriage counseling and maybe reconciliation - he married you so he had to have been in love with you at one time - perhaps he's having second thoughts about losing you. Please pray about this - if you haven't been already.
Best of Luck to you and your Husband!
Harold

Thank you for replying...Well I dont think he is having second thoughts... Its more about him dragging me through this but I guess i could tell him to file himself if he doesnt agree to it... We had only dated 6 months before we got married and I believe I was too young...23...and he wasnt a US citizen so i filed for him... and I was in school at that time and he moved to Texas before me and we kept up a long distance marriage you could say... I dont think he ever really cheated on me but there were other women in his life and till today I dont know exactly what happened but I do know they werent just friends... I picked up the phone one day... when i had moved to Texas finally... and there was a woman on the line and I asked her who she was and in turn she asked me who I was ...and she was pretty shocked when I told her I was his wife... He wouldnt tell anyone he was married...wouldnt wear his wedding ring... Anyway my father passed away and it was a very hard time for me. HE just wouldnt emotionally connect to me. I would share everything with him because I considered him my best friend. My father left me a considerable amount of money and I noticed slowly that my H seemed to care more abt that than me ... and even now with the divorce in process it bothers him that he isnt getting anything... he techinally cant because that is seperate money.
I would never ever have considered divorce... I wanted it to work and spend the rest of my life with him even though my parents werent happy with it. He wanted me to stop talking to them and gradually isolated me from my family. I suggested marriage counseling but he wouldnt hear of it. Its like he gave up and I know now he wasnt ready to get married even though he wanted to initially.Now i think it was more for himself than for me...meaning he wanted a green card...I wanted to wait till I graduated.But it just became a mess...
I have become more spirtual now and do pray. It helps me get through the hard times.
Its just funny how you think u know someone so well and they turn out to be somebody else. Im trying to be brave... I need all the prayers I can get.

You might want to consider getting a lawyer and file the papers before you leave the country. Your lawyer can handle most everything for you without you having to be there.

My XW kept threatening me with divorce, brought home divorce papers, started getting things set with her OM, got a credit card in my name and maxed it out. Finally we began to fill the papers out together. She wouldn't do it on her own. She argued about everything. Then she tried to make the marriage work, but all the crap she had set in motion hit the fan and I put the paperwork together and had her sign it. I don't think she ever really wanted the divorce, but she was so unhappy with herself and didn't even realize all the damage she had been doing to me. I think it surprised her that I was just as miserable as she was.

Only you know what is right for you to do. Once you know what is right for you then just do it. Anyway you can just do it.