Well in the five months since I found out about the divorce, I found out my wife is preganant with child from the guy she had an affair with. This after having five kids and being together for 12 years. We have been to court and I have custody of the five kids, we are shortly going to be filing for divorce. I hate to say it, but I think the writing is on the wall. With such a horrible last five months, I feel like I am at a all time low. I hurt and feel terrible everyday. I am over 700 miles from any family and friends, have only lived in the present community for one year. I have very few friends and am in need of some type of support structure. Anybody got any ideas, I've tried the bar, but that is not what I want right now. Somedays I feel like I could very easily become a alcoholic. That seems to be the only thing that relaxes me and lets me sleep. I don't want to throw away my kids lives, but some days it seems so hard. With it being summer I want to meet people, but meeting somebody and telling them your whole lifes story will most likely drive them away. This is the most horrible thing I have ever gone through in my life. It all hurts so bad most of the time. Anybody got any ideas?

Lost -

I really dont have any great advice except maybe look for a group of other single parents - around here our local community has a group call Parents without partners which I have heard is very good. As you know I have been keeping up with your story and progress through Mimi and worry about you daily. You helped me through some of the hardest times in my life with your understanding and never ending support. I wish I knew a way to help you and let you know that you are a very strong man who can do this - Dont let her win, prove to her and yourself that you can survive and will be a better person without her, you dont need her. You have wonderful children that need you to continue to be strong. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.

Dude, that blows. I know this because my wife left me, too. We don't have any kids and were only married for two and a half years, but whatever--it sucks all the way around. I'm left in our huge, ten acre place near san diego. We made the big adventurous move from Seattle over two years ago. Now she is gone.

So what are we gonna do? Curl up and die? Hell no! Piss and moan? No! I hurt like no other time in my life, but then there are all....the....possibilities.

First of all, you are a family guy with all those kids. That makes you a babe magnet for a Brady Bunch situation. Do you know how many attractive single moms are out there? They know you will
treat their kids with respect because you have kids too!

Number One Rule: Never be afraid to chat someone you find attractive up. They'll let you know if you are bugging them. You will run into a lot of rejection, but that's the name of the game. You keep the numbers up and odds start working for you. And no, no, no--you don't pour your sob story out to them in the first second of meeting.
Get that heart off your sleeve. Cover it up for awhile. A hard luck story isn't advised for a first time meeting, but after a couple of dates, you will find that some woman will, if she digs you, listen and help with suggestions and be there for you. It isn't a miracle that there are a lot of caring, giving people out there.

My wife left me, and I'm finding there are plenty of females out there who don't think I suck at all. Let go of teh baggage, my man. It's hard, and it takes a lot of strength and time. From my point of view, your wife is no peach--it's not like you lost a saint of a woman. In my estimation she's made some pathetic choices. It's a wonderment to me how bad things can get, sometimes, and the depths to which people will
screw over someone they once loved.

Get out there and start talking to nice woman you see everyday00cashiers, haridressers, neighbors,
friends of friends, etc. Play in the park with your kids. The story will go like this--you eventually recover and sloly but surely build happiness. Ex W's life will descend into a hellish situation based on bad choices and rushed attempts at happiness.

You are going to win big.

LiS,

I feel for your situation. I feel overwhelmed at times and I only have 2 living at home.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> am over 700 miles from any family and friends, have only lived in the present community for one year. I have very few friends and am in need of some type of support structure. Anybody got any ideas, I've tried the bar, but that is not what I want right now. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A few questions please for a more informed answer to your question.

Do you want to go back to where you were from? Is there something that keeps you where you are?

What are your interests? I know with 5 kids there probably isn't a whold lot of time, but what do you like to do?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anybody got any ideas, I've tried the bar, but that is not what I want right now. Somedays I feel like I could very easily become a alcoholic. That seems to be the only thing that relaxes me and lets me sleep. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This may sound strange, but ...... you might attend a few AA meetings. Now before you shake your head no way, let me explain. Maybe you ARE an alcoholic, and then again maybe you are not. AA meetings are a great place to meet people. That may sound strange to you but it is usually a great group of people who if they are working the program and growing as individuals.If you decide you are not an alcoholic then you have lost nothing. If you decide you are in the right place, then you'll be a happier you, more peacefull and therefor MUCH more attractive to others ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

D.

Think about it.