My H of 16yrs left 3 weeks ago. We have had problems for years mostly over financial issues. I was not good at managing the household and I lies to him repeatedly to cover it up. It all came to a head when our veh's were repossed in Jan. I want very much to regain his trust he wants to just be friends right now and I am in counseling to try to help me with the issues of lieing to him. I know there are feelings there I am just not sure if he can get past this. Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated. He can't seem to remember the good things right now and while I am trying to give him space I am also trying to rebuild our friendship. He started "talking" to a girl 10yrs younger and he has admitted he thinks he might have feelings for her and has slept with her 1 time. I have asked him to stop talking to her and he refuses. He doesn't seem to think it confuses the situation. I am willing to get past that to save my marriage.
HELP

le,

I would vote for neither. Here's my suggestion.

Read all you can on the MB site, and get the book Surviving an affair. Then you can see if plan a / plan b makes sense to you.

Sorry you are in this situation, but you came to the right place for help.

God Bless,

D.

thanks for the advice on the book. i feel as though i have betrayed him as if i had an affair. he has stopped seeing his friend but wants to date me and other people. i am so confused. everybody tells me to cut him off totally to give him "all the space he wants" but i really feel that we have to build a new relationship and that by cutting off contact we will loose each other.... i am going to buy the book.
le