Well - My now XH left me a voicemail to let me know that our divorce was final yesterday and that I'd get the papers soon, etc.

Overall my recovery has been great, however I am feeling a little blue today. I know it wouldn't be normal if I wasn't, but I feel out of sorts.

Encouragement? Advice?

Thanks and Llama Hhugs,
Llama

I'm sorry it could not have worked out better for you. And that you are having a hard time - but it probably is normal. I went through the same.

Go do something nice for someone else today, it will give you some joy.

Read your bible - I am reading John and find it exciting.

I will pray for you.

John

llama,

I am sure that was not quite what you expected when you picked up the voice mail!!! Lousy way to find out!!! I am sorry for that!!

You didn't recover your marriage and for that I am sorry!!! But look at the person that you have become!!! That is awesome!!!

John was right go do something nice for someone, go get fast food for supper and give the counter person a tip, buy an ice cream for the kid waiting in line. Send flowers to a nursing home!!

It's tough I can imagine will be there myself soon, but don't let it be the better of you!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

llama - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Courtsey of my counselor, I have a bit of different advice.

I say get in touch with your feelings and be ok with just feeling a little blue today.

But also do something nice for you. Go to bed early. Take a bubble bath. Read a good book. Watch t.v. Go to a movie.

There is no particular way to deal with this, or at least I haven't read the book.

You'll get through this. Just take it one step at a time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

K

<small>[ August 20, 2002, 09:26 PM: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by llama:
<strong>Well - My now XH left me a voicemail to let me know that our divorce was final yesterday and that I'd get the papers soon, etc.

Encouragement? Advice?

Thanks and Llama Hhugs,
Llama</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">{{{{{{{{{{{{{Llama}}}}}}}}}}} Here's a BIG hug to you.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Llama}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Have another one! You are in the right place for a new Divorcee.
I really don't know what to say, other than, we're all sorry it had to happen to you. On the other hand, one of these days - you'll look back at this and know that divorcing you was the best thing he could have done for you - now he's no longer in your life to foul it all up! I can only say that the first month was the worst - then it went uphill from there - things are much better now. Keep the Faith - God will bless you!!!
Peace, and a few HugZ to you!!!! Harold

I am sorry that your marraige did not work out. Mine is on the brink, yet we are trying. I hope your are not offended by this, but I envy you. I have not begun the process of divorce - I cannot get to that point emotionally even though I am dying inside and have been for 25 years. I wish it was all over and I could begin anew. I hope you can find the love you were always looking for.

Hi llama, hang in there, I was in your shoes back in May. I remember when it was final it was like just returning from a funeral, that sad. I would say its ok to grieve, its the lose of a person you loved.......There are sad days and happy days. In time you find more happy days, despite what happen you have to still continue to live and be productive, it takes a whole lot more responsibility of maintaining yourself single than married temptation is there....

I'm amazed from a guys view point how after DV how you come across so many opportunites to have an opposite sex friend but it has to be the right one's, otherwise you're headed for a downfall fast, just keep some good morals about yourself and don't become desperate and emotional needy, but learn to love yourself and encourage yourself in the word of God and be strong.

I used to always focus on what I'm loosing and lost but as you move on your focus seems to change to what you're about to gain and come into, it gets exciting.

Life gets better as time goes on, don't try to work through all this on your own, be open to talk and tell people how you feel it helps.

My now xw reminded shortly after dv she said " remember I took you to court and divorced you, she said she paraded herself right in front of the Judge and did her thing and told me to move on, its over" I wasn't there and didn't have to be. I was glad she reminded me that she did this and boasts about it still, because a day is coming where she's going to eat those words. Its easy to be arrogant when OM is standing behind her and cheering her on.

How do I feel 3 months later? Happy its over, I think what a mess I'm walking away from, sometimes I feel I want her back, but less and less as each week goes by, 21 years don't dissolve that fast, but get a reality check looking back.

How is she doing 3 months later?.... eaten up with guilt and getting humbled bigtime, everything is backfiring now, her fantasy world is crashing down.

Its amazing when I first came to this site I remember seeing other BS's who's WS world collaspe over time and I would say to myself, Oh that would never happen in my case, she's so strong and solid, she has it all, friends, money, OM's, support and family and at one point used scriptures to justify what she was doing, well 2 years later and her world is crashing, I marvel, its beyond my understanding how that happens and how they are brought down low.

Hi llama: I am very sorry. You have every right to feel blue. My D will be final any day. I check the clerk's docket every morning on the computer when I come into work. So that is how I will find out. I, too, expect to be very blue that day and I am sure I will be posting a similar message as yours.

At least now it is officially over and you can really move forward. You are going to do great and go on to bigger and better things.

Thanks everyone for your hugs, words of support and encouragement. It means alot to me and helps greatly.

I had purchased tickets to see the musical Mamma Mia with my girlfriend and we saw it last night. It was a nice escape - however the story line is based around the events of a wedding - ha ha.

I woke up this morning at about 4 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep. Just sad. I don't regret my decision one bit. I guess I expected to feel more relieved and happy. I guess that will come in time.

My XH emailed me today saying he was quitting his job and leaving this city on 9/6. Interesting. I chatted with my x step FIL yesterday and he mentioned something about XH possibly moving to Seattle - the OW's city. I don't think he's going there - maybe in time he will. And, as I said to my XSFIL, I wish XH the best of luck. (And, I sincerely mean that). I DO want him to be happy and find himself.

I'm 33 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I still dream of being married, having a family and being a great wife and mom. I know that dream WILL come true, because I believe it can.

Marriage Builders and everyone here has truly helped me through a difficult time. I'm so thankful for all of you!

{{{{{{{llama hhugs}}}}}}}}}}

Llama