2/4/2001 D-day several OM’s, WW was raped by Father from 0 - 13 years she is sexually promiscuous and an extreme over-spender
3/2001 enter counseling no response from WW due to spiritual problems
5/2001 Oldest Daughter returns home from Grandmas due to WW nagging and begging
5/2001 WW is caught calling OM’s
6/2001 WW leaves because she is confronted with her latest EA’s possibly PA’s Plan B 2 days
6/2001 WW comes back after finding God through me, but faith is weak and trust is weaker both ways
6/2001 new counselor specialist with victims of sexual abuse
7/2001 counselor calls for my forgiveness and trust of WW
7/2001 neighbors know our business and pry
8/2001 It’s all a good recovery
9/2001 Bankruptcy looms
11/2001 Oldest daughter is screwing up failing school and trying drugs
11/2001 Van is repo’ed
12/2001 poor Christmas, bankruptcy looms
1/2002 Bachelorette party goes bad with WW acting suspiciously while away but no obvious EA or PA
2/2002 I am fired and WW is diagnosed with spinal tumor
2/2002 no job prospects
3/2002 no job prospects
4/2002 tumor is removed and no cancer, no job prospects
5/2002 bankruptcy is final, no job prospects
5/2002 Oldest daughter is going very very bad and leaves house threatening family etc.
6/2002 Neighbors begin lot line crisis/fight, no job prospects
7/2002 WW is finally fully recovered from major surgery
7/2002 other neighbors practically start fistfight with me (I walk away)
7/2002 I decide to turn a new leaf and really try a lot harder
8/2002 bankruptcy is hurting job search
8/2002 WW decides she has no feelings for me and loves me still takes a week at her Mom’s. I ask for forgiveness for not trusting WW and punishing her for affair.
8/2002 gives mixed signals and stays out all night (first time) until 8:30 AM after returning home
8/2002 WW decides on Divorce
48 hours ago I learn of apparent 2 week EA by WW. I had to pull it out of her. Tears and negotiations for Divorce begin. This morning my Pastor and my Counselor convince me that divorce may be premature. I own ALL of my bad behavior of the last 1 ½ years. Job prospects are good. WW best friend is sick of lies and spills the beans about PA’s and EA’s in 8/2001 and 1/2002 with OM whom was supposed to be just a fling but is very important to her. WW had 17 year old niece lying for her and hiding numbers for her for years. All my suspicions have come true. Divorce is the final solution.

By the way all of her affairs have been old men (46) or young kids (18). All so she could control them. Her latest and apparently greatest is a Forty something geezer with a mid-life crisis "cool car" and a swank love shack apartment over-looking the best lake in the city. All big bucks, but she don't seem to have much money since this well went dry.

How do i file?
I think it will be amicable 50-50 split
How do I not get screwed by this Playa" again?

Man I feel for you. I don't know what to say regarding D, but wanted you to know someone was reading and cares that you have had to deal with all this crap for so long.

Stay strong and know that someone cares. I am sorry for your pain.

jd

Invictus -

What a wild ride.......

You didn't say much about the kids, but don't forget about them in all this - I have to say this 'cause I'm a mom.

Be sure that you talk to an attorney who specializes in family law.

Talk to a counselor, so that you find out why you were attracted to your WW and so that you don't make the same mistake again and so that you can help your kids not turn out or marry someone like her.

Be in tune with your kids and get them someone to talk to - there is always something going on with the kids - they are never handling things well, and if you think they are, then they are probably supressing feelings that may come out in a bad way later on. Also, if adults need help getting through something like this, how can we expect kids to handle it better than we can.

Remember to love the sinner but hate the sin, and if you think you've done all you can, then just make sure that you are doing the fair thing while still making sure that the kids are taken care of.

Good luck.

K

This has to be one of the most depressing posts I've ever encountered ;((

Thanks you all for the emotional support!!!!!!!!

I am under the care of my very cool pastor who is a sex abuse survivor and a wise wise man.

WW will continue to seek counseling help etc.

Kids are being talked to as best we can. No counseling for them due to no money. We will see what the church can do.

By the way I grew up in one of those garbage houses with all the crap inside and the dumpster outside on the 6 O'clock news. The house is kinda like me, but I'm OK and cleaning up fast.

I really need legal advice so that i don't lose my kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I really feel for you. Isn't it a total drag when it all hits at once! Many of us have been in very simular circumstances-you are at the right place.Keep posting we will all try our best to help you through all the painful junk!You have friends here.
I will say that through my lowest, toughest times in life,I have learned the most valuable lessons and taken them with me.
After the real tough times are past, you will have alot of empathy for others struggling and going through tough times-feelings that you may not have possessed before. This WILL make you stronger. I know that these are just words that may sound weak or shallow, but down the road-these times can help imensely! I am a more caring person now. Before I had the real lows I didn't care about others the way that I do now. I'll be praying for you.Please read the book of James tonight.

((((Invictus))))

I may of missed it. but what's the age and sex of your kids?

Have you researched your states divorce laws? Is it a no-fault state?

Why do you believe that it will be a 50/50 split?

Are you now employed?

Is your WW employed?

Is there any drug/alcohol abuse by either of you?

I'm not qualified to give any legal advise, I can only relay what has happened to me through experience. These days most states require that you go through mediation before they will hear your case. The courts seem to be trying to step out of making the decisions for the family.

If you are the one who is going to file, there are a couple vital things to do in the beginning. Either way it's done you need to seek legal advise. Call your local "Legal Services" office, they may offer low cost legal help. By some means, it appears that you need to get the younger kids into counseling.

I'd be glad to answer any specific questions you have about the process...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LostHusband:
<strong>((((Invictus))))

I may of missed it. but what's the age and sex of your kids?

BOYS 5 AND 9

Have you researched your states divorce laws? Is it a no-fault state?

I DUNNO

Why do you believe that it will be a 50/50 split?

EVERYTHING WIFE SAYS POINTS THAT WAY AND SHE STILL WANTS TO HANG ON TO A BIT OF ME.

Are you now employed?

NOT FOR 6 MONTHS

Is your WW employed?

NOT UNLESS HER BOSS WAS HER OM

Is there any drug/alcohol abuse by either of you?

NOT WITH ME BUT ONLY RUMOURS ABOUT HER ALL TESTS ARE CLEAN...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

I found a bottle of Amitryptylene 50 MG in wife weekend bag after she came back from latest trist. Yesterday she took my 5 year old to local amusement park with boyfreind, too spoil him and win him over.