Hello All
My first post was a little vague about my situation, My wife and I have seperated after 13 yrs due to my verbal abuse. I now realize what she really means to me. "you never realize what you have till its gone" A far as suicide its always on my mind but we have a 7 yr old daughter,I couldn't do that to her. My wife says she still loves me but doesn't know what kind of love it is. she says she needs time to fix her problems, As far as I go, I have started going to a group on depression, started taking a class on anger management, bought books on anger, and books on marriage by DR. Harley. so I guess I am doing the right things. I know I need to change for me, and not her. But all this WORK and effort
doesn't ease the pain, of waking up alone, not seeing her every day.
I never really knew what Love was or what I wanted in life till she left me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

d-

so I guess I am doing the right things. I know I need to change for me, and not her. But all this WORK and effort

It does get better as you get better. Keep doing the right things. As you improve and grow, she may or may not come back, but you will be able to say that you tried your best and now you are a different person and even though it was a horrible way for you to becom willing to change, you will (IMHO) be gratefull.

D.

Thanks for the response will
I know that I need to fix me, that I can't expect her to keep living the way it was. but the pain is devastating,this situation hurts worse than when my father passed away,of course I was devastated then too, and still feel that pain. I guess what really scares me is the fact that even with my effort she might not come back. she has it made right now. she's on cloud 9, she has a house, her kids, her friends, can do anything she wants, she may decide she doesn't need me
dtjb

I am sure she's not on cloud nine even if she wants you to think that. It's lonely no matter which side you are on. My H told me he decided to leave in Jan and that he was ready and for the first couple of weeks he really did act like it was easy but as you can if you'll read my other posts he's having just as hard a time with this as I am. I have learned alot from this site and this board. I want to be a better person and I have real goals for my next "relationship", I hope and pray everynight that it is with him and I am trying so hard to plan A him right back home. But Plan A isn't about him it's about me changing to be a better person, wife, mom etc.. I can already notice the difference in myself and with the help of Wiffle and my daughters and the other great people on this board I am going to be fine.
keep your chin up