hello i'm 24 h my w is 23 we have a 2 1/2 yrs daughter we have been married for about 2 yrs
i know i'm guilty of not meeting her emo.needs ...like i should have..
I have tried to talk to her about this because i want this marriage to be the way it should be ...
but she says there is nothin to talk about she says "i'm done " I don't fell that way i screwed up i know it now it looks like it's to late to show her ...
I got my divorce papers at work on the 15th of this month ...please help me fine a way to stop this divorce so i can keep my family together ..
what should i do i'm not gonna give up until the end ...I need help i have tried everthing i know of anyadvise would be great ...thank you

LUMPY,

Welcome and I'm sorry that you are here. I hope you've taken some time to read up on Dr. Harley's principles.

If she has filed then obviously the first thing that you need to do is contact an atty, like yesterday. Some states and some judges for that matter, may entertain a request for marriage counseling. A good lawyer will be able to give you all your options on that front.

The biggest thing that you can do right now is work on yourself. You may have no control on whether you get divorced or not, but you do have control of yourself. You have stated that you have seen some of your short comings, well right now is the time to work on them. Do not beg, plead, cry, whine, gripe, etc to her because that is not appealing and will only drive her fartheraway.

Read up on PLAN A and only make deposits in the ole love bank. Sometimes to make a deposit you have to do things that work to the progression of divorce.

Have you looked into your states divorce laws? If not, read the statue's and find out what the timelines are.

Best of Luck to you....

LUMPY,

Sorry for the reason that you are here, but you have come to a great place. Read all that you can on this website, the MB principles have saved a lot of marriages. However some do not make it, but those of us who did the MB principles (speaking for myself) that I know I did all that I could, grew as a (better) person and learned a lot of good ways of treating myself and others.

Keep posting, there is a lot of great wisdom on these boards. General Questions II is another good place to post. Each board has thier own personality so to speak.

God Bless,

D.

Lumpy,
I recommend going to your pastor. The church is not only for performing weddings but Biblically responsible to teach us how to maintain our marriage covenant and can intervene in a marital crisis.

After you meet with him to explain the situation, perhaps he would be willing to meet with you both. Deal openly with the issues, the offenses, that are driving the marriage apart (Matthew 18:15-19 process) and both of you be accountable to him to taking whatever steps of growth are needed to bring repentance, restoration, and reconcilliation.

Since God created marriage, it is HIS design you have to follow. This is the only way a marriage can be healed is through Christ.

Hey Lumpy. you sound a lot like me. We are close to the same age, and my husband just decided that he no longer wants it. No one has filed yet, here you have to be living separate and apart for a year. We are still living together, but don't talk, I have my post on here. It is crazy. How can people just walk away like this. It is nice to hear that a man actually cares about his wife and wants the marriage to wrok. I wish my husband could suck up his pride and try too. Hang in there and keep us posted.