Well folks.

D-day was exactly one year ago today.

I have been dreading this day for so long. Wondering how I would feel, wondering if I would be so distraught that it would be like reliving it again.

But, you know what. I actually had to force myself to remember that this was the day.

Oh what a difference a year makes.

I would have never have imagined a year ago that that a year from now my H would be a re-married ExH complete with new home and new dog.

So how do I feel? I'm not sure. Guess that means I need more therapy to "get in touch with my feelings." But I think that I think I'm supposed to feel a certain way, but in all honesty, I have learned that it's good for me to be where I'm at.

I've learned that for really my entire marriage I was married to someone who really never could or never would show me that he cared about me or my feelings. I've realized why I felt so unhappy for so long. I've realized why I wasn't really crazy all those years when I know that something wasn't quite right, and that ExH was either unable or incapable or just plain selfish to not want to do anything about it. I also know now that I'm the victim of ExH's verbal abuse. And I've learned that I'm ALOT happier without ExH.

I still hate divorce, especially when there are children. And I wish that ExH could have made the right decision and chose to work on the marriage instead of run away with the OW. But reality is that ExH made those choices and if he wasn't going to ever work on the marriage then I'm better off without him.

The saying that it takes two to work on a marriage is true. And I can sleep soundly at night knowing that I did my very best to try and save mine. But in the end it was only one person trying.

I do see the end of the tunnel. Everyday does get better. The grief gets less and less. I'm healing, and if I would have said all this a year ago I would have died, because this is not the reality that I wanted, but it's reality.

A big thank you to all my MB friends, without whom, I would never have made it through the pregnancy, birth, divorce and re-marriage of ExH.

I do believe that we'll all make it. And one day we'll be one of those posters that returns a few years later telling everyone how great their life is and to give hope to those new ones here.

May God Bless You ALL!

K

K,

You are all ready one of those posters who has/is making a great life. You are one of the true sucess stories here. You are not bitter, to come out of the mess & not be bitter is one of the true points of sucess. You have a personal recovery that is far greater than anything your X will ever have.

Dear GIIC,

Isn't it great that it turned out not be such a bad day today after all? I know exactly what you mean about dreading the day, and then when it comes somehow it turns out to be just another day.

Sounds like your XH is very much like my STBXH: emotionally crippled and totally selfish. You ARE better off without him.

My STBXH never really worked on the marriage. When it got to the point where it needed some work and some effort, he just gave up on it. For some people it's just easier to start over with someone new. It's funny, though - I have heard so many divorced people say that they wish they had tried harder to keep their marriage intact. It's a shame that conclusion isn't reached in time to make a difference, especially when there are children involved.

Like you, I can say I did everything I could to save the marriage and keep my family intact. I might have tried a little too long and a little too hard - in the end, all it did was prolong the agony. But at least I tried, and he never did.

The best part of today is the realization that you are, indeed, happier without your XH. My kids and I went to a Chinese restaurant last night and I would like to share with you the message that came in my fortune cookie: "You have not yet lived the best years of your life". I hope it will apply to you, too!

GIIC,

I have been dreading this day for so long. Wondering how I would feel, wondering if I would be so distraught that it would be like reliving it again.

But, you know what. I actually had to force myself to remember that this was the day.

God Bless you ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

D.

Hey, there GIIC:

This day is a weird day in a way, but also a reminder that we can actually live a whole year through the worst pain imaginable...we have the strength.

During this year I bet your bond with God has grown stronger, even stronger than you thought it might as He Guided you through the mine fields of this tragedy.

You certainly have many new MB friends!

God Bless you and keep you,
c++_guy

<small>[ August 25, 2002, 05:14 AM: Message edited by: c++_guy ]</small>

Thanks everyone for all the support.

The days do get better, although there is still alot of emotion under the surface - I can tell.

This morning, I did have a twinge of that feeling that I felt a year ago - that feeling of total and utter betrayal by your spouse, that feeling I felt when I found out about the affair. It's a weird feeling to describe, but you know what I'm talking about once you've felt it.

But it's gone now, abd I'm back on track of lovin' life.

May everyone have a blessed day.

K

GIIC,

I would like to echo sing's response to you she said it perfectly!!! You are an Awesome lady!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />