I hope this is the right place for this post. I am dealing with several issues at this time.
First, my wife wants to be seperated and has even asked for a divorce. The request was quite shocking as I was working diligently on Plan A. We separated 2 weeks ago. She claims that her reason wanting to separate is that I was verbally abusive. She came to her conclusion after reading a book titled "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. She has also told me that she does not love me any more. While I am guilty of sarcasm and some other offenses, I believe that my wife has chosen to look back at only these isolated incidents and has built a pile of negative thoughts. The book outlines extreme examples of abuse that I am not guilty of.

Second, my wife is currently in a very angry state. She wants to be as far away from me as possible. She wants her space.

As a side note, she has also had an emotional affair with a high school friend. In fact she has been reaching out and reconnecting socially with all of her high school friends currently and seems to be reverting back to thinking like a high school-aged person. I say this becuase of the fact that she said she just wants to be friends with me and once we are speparated that we can still go out to do nice things.

It seems that I am now in Plan B and need some help. Is her desire to be as far away from me as possible a temporary thing? Is it based on some sort of anger/justification for her affair? Do you have any other reasons?

I still love my wife and want to work this out. I feel that she is operating in another world and if, by some chance, she can get back to reality that we still have a chance? Is this a realistic thought?

Wow! Your situation sounds alot like mine. My WS left me in June after her dad died on Easter. She started going every weekend back home (230 miles away)to visit her mom. Only thing was I discovered she wasn't visiting her mom only, she was visiting her old HS boyfriend and they started an affair. She ws leaving our son with me and going there. i did everything wrong before finding help on the internet. Follow the plans you find here and you might have a chance. If your not careful you drive them away. Don't beg, don't try to convince her she's making a mistake, don't even try to show them the OM is a loser (even if he is) Don't email them or send them cards or letters that could be used against you. Do not confront the OM, that will backfire on you. She is proably angry from her own guilt, and taking it out on you by finding a book that validates her doing what she's doing and blaming you for it. If she wants to be alone let her, if she wants to go, let her. Work on yourself and definitely get to work on a plan B. Don't give up and don't give in to your own thoughts 'cause you'll screw up and lose ground. Don't blame or accuse her and don't let her see you suffering. Be strong you'll make it. Oh, and pray, God hates divorce and he can fix anything.

You are not in Plan B. Just because she left, does not put you in Plan B.

My WH did the exact same thing your W did. I thought like you did. Many people on this board straightened me out!

You are to do Plan A. Yes, Plan A. Hard, I know, since she won't have anything to do with you. I know. I went through it. But Plan A is about YOU. It's about fixing the issues she had with YOU. You can work on that now. You can act like, and start to become the H she wanted you to be. Learn to hold your tongue, and lose the "sarcasm."

In time, if she wants to talk to you, or contact you, you will be a better place to show her your changes. Will it make her come home? Nobody can answer that but her! But it will make you a better H for the future, whatever the future holds.

Get busy, Jsiena, you've got lots to read on this site, and plenty of work to do (didn't we all?). Read everything you can about Plan A and Plan B. Understand the dynamics of M, and how they break down, and how they can become intimate again. In time, hopefully, we will all have the opportunity to try to fix it again with our spouse's.

Good luck to you, and God Bless.

I agree. You should still be in Plan A (from a distance.)

Don't pursue her. She will eventually contact and see you. When you do see her, do not under any circumstances LB (what she thinks is LB - do not upset her). Instead be the best that you can be and work on changes on yourself that she could notice (without you pointing them out.)

As Steve Harley has told me, it is like going to the gym, you may not go often but when you do, you've gotta give it your all.

Thank you for the support. I forgot to add that my wife wants to meet with a mediator in three days to draw up a separation agreement. She seems so determined to end this relationship quickly and I feel she is making a hasty decision. Is Plan A/B about saying yes to the legal separation? How can I work on this from afar?

about the separation, you could ask for more time. tell her your not emotionally ready to discuss anything, you are hurt. that may buy you some time. becareful not to LB (anything you say or do could be interpretted as such.)

don't chase her but when she contacts you be your best.

you may want to try counselling with Steve Harley.