Ok, I'm not even divorcing (I hope not, but...), but I have to get in on this thread...

My xOW and I are weirdly similar--both fair, brown hair, freckles, overweight(!).

BUT, where I have somewhat gentle features, she has far more horsey ones--her teeth are cracked out (literally--she's a former crack user)--yellow and dead and crooked to all he#$.

She is like me after being beaten with an ugly stick.

Go figure that!
EJ (usually on the infidelity boards)

love must be in the eye of the beholder....At least knowing what she looks like would not make me look at every woman everywhere I go and wonder - " is she the one??"...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Untrapped Mom:
<strong>This thread is too funny! Yeah, I can lose weight, but she can't change her ugliness....</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, Hehehehheeee, sorry after reading this, well, I just had to 'chime in' my 2 pennies worth...
Right after I moved out of our house and the STBX (at that time) had moved the OM in our place, I was helping them paint our house (takin' the high road) and one day she came out dressed really sharp, you know, brand new pants suit, hair done up really nice, make up just right, etc. She looked at me in total disdain and said, "I hope you rot in hell, Harold." Well, I just looked at her and told her to have a nice day - the way I always had - and then after she left, I left too - never to return and finish painting her house...
Ugly? Not on the outside, but then again, I've always had an old saying, " Beauty is only skin-deep but ugliness goes clear to the bone." A perfect description of my ex-wife!
One last thought - at that time, (1998) she was 35 1/2 and I was 40. I really don't give a crap about my getting wrinkles, grey hair, etc. - hey, we all grow old and then die... But... looking back on the VANITY she had wearing those nice clothes, all dolled up, etc. for whom? An old 42-year old man who had scraggly grey hair and partial beard. Oh well, whatever... The next thought I had was... give little Miss Highpockets another 30 years after that day... and she's going to be an OLD BAG - just how good is makeup at covering that up...
It made my day...
Still Laughing After All These Years...
Harold

Well after tonight , I reckon Ugly can't be fixed and neither can just plain rudeness, inappropriateness, or tackiness.

Just as I think we(the kids and I) have escaped the uncomfortable situation my X creates by bringing OW to son's ballgame, they show up.

Luckily tonight he decides to sit in the next set of bleachers over but not so far away that I can't hear most everything said.

About 1/2 way through the game, X goes to get son a bottle of water. OW stricks up conversation with guy in her bleachers who was her high school chemistry teacher. He kept telling her over and over how much weigh she had lost. (apparently she must have been about 400lbs at some time because she's pretty near 200 now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

He ask her if she had a child playing. She answered loudly " My fiancee's son is playing. Then, he goes on to finally ask how she lost all that weight. She answers loudly (for my benefit) "I fell in love". Well as I'm trying not to puke, I look over there and she is staring right at me. Before I could stop myself, I said LOUDLY, " yeah, that happens when you steal someone's husband" and I walked off, found X and told him I would appreciate it if he would have the decency to leave her at home. I told him what she said and that it was specifically said for my benefit and that as much as I didn't want to give him the impression that I still cared for him, I would not be somebody's doormat and I would not tolerate her making my children uncomfortable and trying to pick at me with her comments.

After the game was over, he came up to me. I had son's ballbat in my hand. I told him it wasn't really safe for him to be around me with the bat in my hand. I was kidding but I believe it took him by surprise. He tried to tell me that she didn't say what I specifically heard her say.

I told him right quick that I was not stupid, I could hear perfectly fine and that he wasn't there so what made him automatically decide to believe her. I told him that I was not lying and that I was at least happy he chose not to sit next to me. He said he thought it bothered me the last 2 games so picked those seats tonight on purpose. I told him that if he could not keep her out of his hiney for 2 hours a week, that I appreicated him staying as far away from Daughter and Me. I did tell him I was glad to see that at least they kept their hands to theirselves tonight. I told him that it was very immature to be groping each other in the stands and that was not a proper image to be modeling for our kids. I told him that several people commented on last weeks PDA and that he must not have any class. I then told him that I wanted better for him than that.

I told him that I wanted him to be happy, that he should take some time to think about how this new relationship affected the kids (and me while this was so new). I know it was too much to say, none of my business, etc but somebody needed to tell him that he was making a fool of himself.

He said he understood, said he couldn't do anything about it. I then said he could but he was too "ball-less" to stand up to her.

Funny thing, earlier today, while shopping for a card for an accident prone friend, I saw a display for Boss's Day. I told X that he might want to go to Hallmark and pick up his sweetie one because it was pretty clear who was the boss in his new family.

I then went on to say that I guess I somewhat understood that she was insecure about his relationship with me as we normally are very friendly, talking and joking around alot. I told him that if I was her, I would probably be trying to assert myself in my new role too. However, I would try to do so with class and with consideration for others. Then again that's just me. He said, he didn't understand "female games" but he did realize she was putting on a show for my behalf. He also said he actually believed me but that to save face with her, he had to try to explain to me that I misunderstood. What a man!!!

I just told him to be careful. To really think about what he wanted. He was free of being married for the first time in 13 years, he should decide what he wants for a change. Just moving from one unhappy life to another was not a productive change.

I also reminded him that should think about the kids and how this new relationship affects them. If he isn't 100% sure and commited to OW, then he should be careful with the kids and thier emotional health. They are forming attachments, especially with her daughter. What example will it set for them when this new relationship fails? Also, every dime he invests in the new relationship and loses when it fails, he takes away from our kids future.

I hate to see him be so blind. I did finally wish him my best and told him that I wanted him to find the happiness he had searched for for so long.

Sounds like I said alot but the whole conversation was 3 minutes or less. I doubt anything stuck in his head but I was not going to stand there and have her call me a lier and have him believe it. Sure, I wasted 3 minutes of my life on him. I guess I was the one who looked like the scorned wife tonight but I'll be damned if I have to act like I'm her best buddy.

I did find out she is 28 (XH and I are both 36).

I know it's not the Christian thing to do, say, or believe but I hope someone rips her life apart one day and that she has the opportunity to be in my shoes on the betrayed side of the fence. I did stop by in-laws tonight on the way home so kids could visit a minute. Both FIL and MIL said they didn't give relationship a chance. That he would marry her but they didn't see it lasting.

If it is so obvious to everyone else, why can't he see??????? I know, the FOG!!!!

Just needed to vent. It really helps me deal with my emotions to write it all down. It also serves as therapy because when I honestly have to write about how things make me feel, it forces me to deal with the pain and anger I'm trying so hard to pretend doesn't exist. Don't get me wrong, I will never go back and I'm truly glad divorce is final, but I can't pretend that I don't feel rejected, unloved, unworthy, etc. I will have to deal with this anger if I'm ever going to be happy with myself. It eats away at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Good night

Lynn

(((((((((((Lynn))))))))))))))))

Well, I would say that OW of his is ugly down to the bone, judging by what you said. How tacky, and I am very proud of you for not letting her get away with it.

I know his OW and I would call my her plain, egocentric and overdone, she appears to be bright, but after three failed marriages already, you have to wonder. Unfortunately he took her to England recently, where they stayed overnight with his sister <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> and SHE said OW looks like ME <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . Believe me I want NOTHING in common with her. Not even him.

I am sorry to hear about the papers being signed, but I guess it enables you to move on some more.

Stay strong friend.

Love and light,

Jacky

<small>[ September 02, 2002, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Nina too ]</small>

You know that saying that I think it goes "ALL THE WORLD LOVES AN ACTOR" well any way the next time you go shopping stop at a party store I know that some of them have those little plastic (fitting I know) OSCAR AWARD and the next time she ACTS up go hand it to her and say I like to give you this award for................ well you get my drift. Now lets see who is she trying to convince YOU, Herself or Expimplehead. All I can say is turn the other cheek and just sit back and watch her and the expimple head fall off the stage of life.

Some thing else to think about, if she was so secure with your ex she wouldn't be putting on a show.

Yeah, I wouldn't take comments from the heart, she's just a typical huzzy, she's just like a door knob, "Everybody gets a turn" your WH is just sucker number 55.

My ex MIL told me that OW (ex OW/ex Wife now - not sure anymore) has nothing on me, that apparently XH told her what a great figure she has etc, but when XMIL saw her thought she was kind of anorexic... She is about 12 years older than me, and I look young for my age as I have got loads of attention from younger guys since becoming single, mostly guys don't think I'm over 23... well mmmmm.... at least I age well....

Nina I hear you when you say you don't want anything in common with OW, well XH told me I share the same star sign.... boy was I pissed! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

peoplepleaser

My STBX is Austin Powers and your XH sounds to be like Barney Fife (tries to be strong and a manly man but always put in his place by sherriff or smarter criminals--aka OW). Maybe OW had a gastric bypass or something to lose that much weight. Like the baseball bat, good emphasis on the point. We'd all like to swing that bat from time to time. I will get mine when OW is supoenae'd and is a witness, which will be very soon. Even though my H's OW is supposedly gone, she is like a bad case of Herpes and keeps comin' back when you least expect it.

Sounds like she is not too bright either. Don't think H is beginning to buy it either. Funny thing happens when they begin to live with their "fantasy"--it crumbles. Refer to Dobson's stages of adultery in LMBT. He says that the romantic fantasy gives way to real life--laundry, snoring, gas, etc. Oh and of course, morning breath on a hideous non-made up and fixed up heffer. Sorry for that mean comment, but this is a vent, right? As my grandma, God bless her 85year old 67 years married soul, would say "cheatin will get you nothin but trouble. That kinda love will move in the front door and turn into regret as its' kicked out the back". Grandma is right. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I couldn't help replying to this post. My H's OW has got me beat in the youthfulness category by almost 30 years, but in every other category, she loses: She weighs at least 100 pounds more than me, she is plain, and wears no make-up and shapeless, baggy clothes to be sure and look her worst. She is also ignorant. My H told me that he was talking to her about moving to Georgia and when she didn't know where it was, tried to explain that it was on the Atlantic Ocean. She got mad and said, "I don't need to know my oceans!" And best of all is her moral character. She told my then 17 yr old niece who was living with us at the time that my H preferred OW to me because OW would let him, to paraphrase, perform a certain sexual act that I found painful - something my niece didn't want or need to hear!

I agree with God Is In Control: <<Well, it's not the way we envisioned our lives, but I have to believe that we are still the winners in all of this.

The WH and OW really won't live happily ever after, but there is still a chance that WE WILL!

We can still look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning and be proud of who we are and what we've accomplished and even what we attempted to do by struggling to save our marriages.

God sure does work in mysterious ways. Actually I think that our WH's just fell into temptation, but even so, I don't think that God will let them ruin our lives.>>

I must answer to this thread. OW is WH husbands secretary. I've only seen her once and that was soon after I had given birth to my 3yo. I was still carrying all the excess weight from the pregnancy. She made tea for me whilst I was speaking to H.

Well, I think this is the picture that she now have of me. This fat 43 yo wife. As she is obsessed with her weight H is on a perpetual diet.
She is forever referring to the wrong foods that we ate and that is the reason why we were all so fat. 9yo also picked up weight when all this drama started.

How, I wish she could see me now. I have lost all that excess weight and I am now at the same weight I was in my twenties. I also work out and I can tell you I have heads turning when I walk down the road.

As for her, she is anorexic, freckled face and have no sense of dressing. I think she is still stuck in the sixties even though she is much younger than me. "Hounds tooth suites and stiletto's. She only wears black. She is a bottle blond and somehow her hair has had enough. It is always brittle and bushy.

As for intelligence - ziltz.... She did not even know the difference between a phycologist and spychiatrist.

I will sum this up in my 9yo D's words "Mum you are 43yo, you dress sassy and you look like you are 30yo but "Rotweiller" is 35yo, she is ugly and she looks like she is 100 yo." Where does she gets the clothes from that she wears mum from her granny not even Grandma dresses like her"

The few times I have seen WH, he also complimented me on how good I looked and he is even telling friends of this new svelte person I am now.

As for her she is still in the dark but let it be because if she must see me now she will lock the monkey away.

The last time I met him I wore a "wonder bra" and "Tommy Girl" perfume he was shocked and could not stop starring at me. As we left the restaurant he made me aware of how I was attracting the "mens" attention. He looked sad but I was grinning with victory.