I don't know where to start. So I guess I'll tell You bout all *smile*.. I"m 22 Years old. I've been married for little over 2 years now. We have always argued thats just us but I've never doubted Him until now. I got into a role playing chat online I was having a blast being with 2 of my R/t galfriends on it. Just chatting.. Well in April about I got My husband into it so it would be fun for both of Us. and WHOOOOOSH He loves it. Yes I know it might sound wierd but remember its a role playing chat. Its called Gor its like urth but different Men rule the planet. In Gor You have slaves and FreeWoman . Well He kolared and bought his first girl. and I was excited about it at first. I trusted Him and It was suppose to stay only on the net. Things got really mush and I noticed it. I started getting depressed and more depressed. I started seeing build into something it shouldn't. Finally He addmitted to Himself that He had feelings for her. He released her. slowly through the next few months. He started talking with her again. I let Him I wasn't liking it at first. But if it remained as only online an in the chatroom thats all. Well then He asked if He could take her back if there was a chance. I said No.. He didn't understand why. I said I don't feel comfortable with it I felt really insecure. He kind of let it go but not really. He keeps saying I have to trust him and that He would never cheat.. that He loves Me. Well He gave her our phone number and She called Him last night.. I Got really upset and He said He was getting sick of the jealousy bit. That He was sick my temper tantrums and my lack of trust. And He was going to let her call him. and There was nothing I can do about it but live with it. That right there is pretty much where it stands. Like I said Its He says its just a Friendship and nothing more but I keep think Yes it Might be a friendship but could lead to something more.. Could You please Help Me.

Sahana--<P>Read as much as you can at this website. Dr. Harley's advice gives you a relationship roadmap to follow, especially in how to work toward both being happy. <P>Avoid lovebusting. Sounds like you're so frustrated with the situation (and I certainly understand) that you're resorting to disrespectful judgements to try to FORCE your H to do what you want. That will only make him want to do it more. <P>I firmly believe that the POJA is the perfect rule to follow in relationships, "never do anything without the enthusiastic agreement of your partner." Start following it yourself--people tend to follow good examples; your H will begin showing you the same courtesy. <P>I'd suggest talking calmly with your H about the problem. Explain that you feel what began as something you could SHARE has compounded into something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Listen respectfully to his viewpoint (yes, I know it will probably sound stupid or alarming to you, but do it, it IS how he's feeling). When he says you need to trust him, say something like that's a relief to hear (acknowledge his statement) because it's so fun to share the game since you both like it.<P>Out on a limb here...wonder what results you'd have if you said this was changing the rules of the game a little for you as a couple...but you're willing to discuss the possibility of other friendships like the one he's begun with this girl, or perhaps neither of you should have contact with unknown people offline...what does HE think....and of course, on the one hand she'd be your friend too, right?, since you guys are a couple, just like any friend you make would talk to you both as well, unless you both agree to redefine friendships, equally. Hmmm. <P>You'll have to judge what you think the success of such a discussion would be, since it might backfire. You know your H well enough to guess his responses. But it's a perfectly reasonable discussion IF you remain calm and let him think about things too in a bigger picture. <P>Best wishes. Let us know what happens.<P>Laura