X stopped by to pick the kids up after school and wondered why I let d stay after school to watch her friends play v-ball.

Daughter recently got into trouble, egged some cars, and X and I agreed(thats a first in it self!) that d should be grounded from overnight stays at friends.

X now feels d should be grounded from everything. She asked how d was getting home and where was she going since we are both going to s's f-ball game. I said I was picking her up and dropping at her (x's) house.

X said she doens't trust d now.

This from the mouth of a woman that the kids ranked about 4th in concern after herself, om, job, herself, for the past 3 yrs !!!!! She was also the one that just wanted to leave the kids by themselves on a regular basis and let her neighbors watch them. She would be scheduled to have the kids and then get called into work.

Hopefully she will still consider work as the most important and not decide she wants to have the kids live with her.

Bob, she just went through a very big emotional growth period, and may have re-evaluated her life and her attitudes, and may be returning to normal . . . . she is sobering up from the addictions to realize that what she left is now more important than when she last evaluated her life. . . this process is normal for good thinking people, who want to improve themselves, but the improvement comeswith fits and starts. . .

so, i would say, don't expect her outlook on life to remain the same as it was before, she might now come tothe realization that the road less travelled is now her new road. . . give her time, and i think that super mom could be a bit of an eggageration, but again, lots of times, MLC are learned coping mechanisms to mid life stresses, and sometimes people do learn from them, maybe not with the same spouse, but sometimes. . . .

so give her the benefit of the doubt and watch to see if she grows up . . .

good luck

tom

RWD:

I agree with WIHTT.
Invite her in, and let her contribute. If there's one thing women will NEVER admit to, it's being a negligent parent. Accept her over-zealousness as a sign of an apology, and willingness to be a part of the (albeit broken) family unit.

I've always jokingly told my ex: "..if we couldn't have a good marriage, at least let's have a good divorce..". The relaxed atmosphere around each other can only be good for the kids. They will respond well to this. Wait & see, but with confidence, not cynicism, and she may not disappoint you.

Muzohead