my x wife moved into her boyfriends place this week, 10 mi. away. will be married in nov. after 1 yr.of dating him. we have split cusody, kids ages:11/12,and it is killing me knowing they are in his home having dinners, sleeping there, etc. kids moving in has now made me livid against the x and i blew my stack at boyfriend and her, with me bringing up old **** on her and telling boyfriend. i guess it is anger geared towards finalization right? or is it jealousy? I date but not happy without kids with me. I have plenty of time due to my type of work and it is just eating me up. I treated her good and stayed emotionally connected past year & never thought she would remarry but it is coming. Need some support or comments from friends here. thanks: norm

I feel for you, I hate the thought of that happening eventually with us also. My ex is dating some, but nothing real serious. I sometimes still have a hard time realizing that he can even want to get involved with someone now, i am not near ready for anything like that. I can't imagine my kids even meeting anyone at this point.

normj,

I'm in a similar situation, though my W hasn't yet moved in with the guy. I can understand how you feel with the BF around; I feel the same way, and I often think it's jealousy. He's there all of the time, though we don't want him to, and you can hear him playing with the kids in the background. We should be the ones doing those things, not someone else.

One thing I've been told that may make you feel better, even if it's for a little while: YOU can't be replaced. YOU will always be their dad.

I know it doesn't take away from the feelings you have or help you understand them better, but it says a lot about who you are in their lives.

From my own experience, I didn't mind my mom bringing BFs around, but I was glad when they were gone. No one can replace DAD.

Maybe someone can give us some advice on how to cope with this?

You can't be replaced as a father if yuo stay involved.

A friend of mine who helped me through my divorce told me the key is the future, you want to have a relationship with your kids in the future.

His x took his kids and moved 250 miles away and fought him tooth and nail with visitation and vacations. My friend did everything he could to stay in the boys lives.

His oldest son was close to finishing college but became concerned it wasn't what he wanted. His mother began to hassle him and he came and lived with his father for the summer. Mother continued to hassle, took back the car she bought him, quit paying his college bill, mainly because he came to stay with the father.

Son finally had enough and asked to live with father (he is 21. Finally joined the Marines and said when done he would like to come back and live near father.

Tonite friend told me his youngest son who is in Navy asked if he could come and live with him when he gets out in Nov.

My friend is overjoyed.

What about mom, she dumped her om/h for another guy and now the new om has dumped her. So she is alone with no om or her sons.