Yes, she could be going through pre-menopause. I experienced the same thing. Tried working on the marriage with the MB Harleys. But my stbx was not willing to participate. He was completely done, and had no feelings towards me.
We feel, and the counselor feels, that my stbx has gone through a midlife crisis. He needs anger support, and has closed himself off from family and friends.
All you can do is not lovebust, which is quite hard. I know, I did quite often, cause my needs were not getting met. I also, went through the death of my father, which made my mind go in circles.
Yes, you had a long marriage. We had 24 years. Yes, you feel betrayed hurt and lonely. Yes, these are active feelings, and they hurt. Yes, you have been cast aside, it hurts like heck. You are a good person, a wonderful man, a loving father. You are a human being with emotions and feelings that have been destroyed.
Be there for your wife if she needs to talk to you. Be there for your kids, they love you, and talk to them about divorce. Talk to them about
what has happened to the feelings for their mother. Just be honest with the kids. That is one thing that I have learned about our relationship. Honesty is the best medicine. My kids realize the harm that their dad did with the OW. They realize that we were not happy with each other. They realize that there were a lot of mistakes. What I see with them is that I want to make this home happy, and comfortable. I want to allow the kids to have friends over, and make themselves at home in our house. It is happening little by little. That I still love my husband, and like they said, you will never change dad cause he is the way he is. I know I will never change SNL. I hope he does have a good future, and hope someone will beable to take him for who he is. I did for 24 years, and would of continued. But I know when the end has come, and it is here.
Our relationship is strained right now. We cannot talk to each other, we cannot communicate very well with each other. I have been through years of being told what to do, and now I don't have to listen. So that causes him to get angry. But now I don't have to listen, and try to do with my life the best I can. I have the support of my mother, mother-in-law, kids, and friends and family.
The same can be with you, you and your wife can one day talk peacefully. But you have to look at your kids. They are the important ones now. They are hurting just like you. Our kids are hurting, and this hurts me deep inside. I love my kids so much, I love to see them laugh now, that is something that we have not had a lot of here. I am planning things with my friends with the kids. Also, planning things with my friends for myself. They want to see me happy, and they want to see me be a strong person. You are strong, can see by the way you wrote. You are a good father, husband, and a caregiver. Take care. Prayers are for you and your family.
