BTW, my W pulled the same stunt on me. Or should I say OM did so to his wife. Cause this guy she was seeing was married just like your loverboy is. I want to file but I'm sticking it out for now. W comes and goes about whether she stills wants our M.

kylie

Thank you so much for being brave. We are both being brave, but in different ways. I am trying to muddle through each day (and celibacy is one of many areas of strain and stress but when you're a single mom working who's son is just now 4 you have so much else to bother with).

Sounds like you've found a good, compassionate friend. That is awesome! But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. So take each day one at a time. That is my trouble. I want all the puzzle pieces to fit NOW. I feel at 33, I've waited too long and want life to make sense now. It doesn't. It will when God reveals that to me. And He will to the both of us.

Do me a biiig favor. Read about the affair process and especially ending it here on MB. You must break it off by NEVER seeing him again. I am talking COLD TURKEY HERE. There will be instances for relapses on both sides. You are starting over. He has not decided to start his life over in faith, which is his only help. Also remember what else I'm gonna tell you. Once I had a very long (3 hour) conversation w/H's OW. She told me that she actually felt responsible for my H. That she was so worried about him and such. She went on and on and finally I told her to leave my family alone. She said, "I think I could be co dependent and I don't know if I can". I don't buy that excuse. If she knew anything about MB (most women in her shoes do not and instead go much further into the A's), she'd have know that to end it, you have to really end it and look for a happier and healthier hunting ground.

Please remember this. You did the hardest things you could do. God knows and the angels are singing in heaven. Please, for me, read that and do as Mary Magdalene was commanded by our God to do and that is do the sin NO MORE. The changes will come much easier this way. I think you may have issues regarding what is love. I do to. So do most people in fact. Love does not equal sex .

My son just wandered out of bed and asked what I'm doing..I told him that I am praying for a sweet friend named Kylie. He said " I pray for her too." So take it from a four year old who will maybe never know how it feels growing up in an intact family b/c of adultery and lies. You are so strong. Keep the faith and keep your eyes and soul focused ahead. And remember, this is not all not fun. I have lots somehow, through it all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks NSPIG...
I will heed your advice and take it one day at a time. Also - how do I get to the thing on affairs that you suggested I read?
K

P.S. My heart was soooo touched by your son's wanting to pray for whoever mommy's praying for. God, I love that innocence in children! I'm sure having him helps you to stay strong...a least I hope so.

Ooops...I put an 'S' in your name. As I was typing I was thinking it was "not so pea.."

Kyleigh:

I see you have a low member's number. Where have you posted before?

Here's some encouragement, since you already seem to have gotten more than enough judgement. I applaud you for having the courage to come here to admit to, and atone for, a wrong. You essentially knew it was wrong in your heart, anyhow, before you asked this forum. You said something which really struck a chord with me: that whole thing about doing something against your own personal conviction...well, I've also experienced that. One can't change the past, but one can learn from it, and refuse to repeat the same idiotic choices again. I've simply resolved to attempt to live my life without creating regret for myself.

I became good friends with a woman (28) who had recently seperated (permanently) from her H of only 4 months. She related how she had gotten into a R with a married man, a friend in the beginning, how she was hopelessly in love with him, and just couldn't break free. Also, no kids were involved, and they were married only for a year or two. Ask yourself, if such doubt exists in a marriage, that one not only seeks comfort in someone else, but oversteps the line to such an extent that one indulges in a love affair, (she was convinced that he loved her), is it not only too easy to divorce one's spouse? Especially when no kids are involved? What binds these men to their wives? You see, tough questions need to be asked, and sometimes we tend to avoid the truth, because it hurts too much, knowing that we were used. It's much easier, and more romantic to believe that this is a desperate love affair, doomed to failure, because of all the emotional conflict involved. I won't be as kind as some others have been and say, "yeah, he may be a great guy..."...truth is, he's NOT a great guy. He's emotionally weak, and without moral accountability. If you can say..." in SPITE of this, he's a great guy, ...." , but you can see how ridiculous this is.

The more experienced members on this forum know that "you simply don't sleep with a married man, no matter what ", to quote Formerely Confused. God's Law, or to everyone else, old-fashioned morality, needs to be respected simply because IT WORKS. God intended for us to be happy, and set some guidelines for us. Unfortunately, some of us know better, and have to learn the hard way. In the end, we all realise that God was right all along (!)(?) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I'm SO glad that you have come here, and also gotten such GREAT advice from NPIGA. Isn't she GREAT? I don't know her, but I already want to marry her. (guess I'd better stand in line). My friend also started to go to church, and managed to break free from the affair.

You'll do well, I'm sure. I'm in your corner.

Muzohead