As the title really.

Neil.

Hello,
I don't know about a Thread but there are good web pages
Divorce as friends by Bill Ferguson
I don't know exact www. and hope I spelled his name correctly.
Hope you'll find it.
Good luck

You can look at How to Divorce As Friends. Another site that helped me through my divorce was Divorceinfo.com. Its focus is on saving money, time, and pain in a divorce.

Divorce is difficult. And it does take some effort to keep it friendly. It is usually an adversarial process. The effort keeping the divorce amicable is well spent. Be sure you choose your divorce lawyer well. My XW had to reign in her divorce lawyer a bit. (Not sure if I got that metaphor right. Just picture her lawyer as the horse and my XW is holding the reigns.) My divorce lawyer is familiar with collaborative divorce. The most important thing to remember is that you must keep control of your divorce. Don't just turn it over to the lawyers and expect them to do the right thing.

Once we had gathered all of the information, we were able to negotiate the marital settlement agreement in about one and a half hours, face to face no lawyers involved. Even though she was the petitioner, my lawyer wrote the final marital settlement agreement, since he was more responsive and was costing us less.

We divorced on the best terms possible. You can too.

Give her the Porche and you take the rest! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

sorry..couldn't resist. Great websites...also check out www.divorceinfo.com

We divorced on good terms. We decided together it was best, found an attorney. Figured out what we each wanted, took the paper in, they typed up the paperwork, and that was it.

Divorce is very hard anyway, why make it more difficult than it is, especially when there are kids involved.

We get along alright, i guess. Have our moments, but try very hard to be cordial to each other, because of the boys. Sometimes it takes VERY HARD work on my end <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Thanks all.

My wife is thinking about what she wants to move. I think we have the visitation sorted.

I am trying to do everything with her face to face before we see lawyers.

We have verbally agreed that I will have custody of the 3 children, that the matrimonial home will be transferred into my name, that we will discuss furniture etc and I will give her wha I can from what she wants (although she said she wants to leave it all).

One thing that I am kicking around at the moment is that she would like a financial settlement but wnats me to hold onto it until such time as she can get a mortgage a few years in the future. She is concerned that she would not get a mortgage and therefore would I use the settlement monies to secure a property that she would then purchase. I would not own the proerty or be a guarantor (sp?). As long as I have no rights over the property or its payment I would agree to this. My mortgage advisor says this is quite easy to do as long as the Lawyers say its ok. Effectively I would be "holding" her settlement monies until such time as she wants to get a mortgage.

Has anyone else done anything like this?

Regards Neil.

I would suggest that your wife go and see the banker and talk over her options with him before you go agreeing to anything.

The other thing I would invest in is a mediator that can guide the two of you to an agreement. THEN take that to the lawyers to have it finalized. You can find a mediator that is a lawyer, plus he/she will know the divorce laws so that you won't be re-hashing everything that you and your wife *thought* was OK.

Glad you came back and didn't take my comment to heart. Sorry to hear that yet another family is splitting up.

Elan, thanks.

We seem to be talking pretty sensibly. I have a solution for her that doesn't tie me to her, or the mortgage. So I hope that will be acceptable to her. I am hoping to flesh it out at the weekend and gain agreement on Sunday.

I wish I had a Porsche to give her I really do. Neil.