Ran into my divorce lawyer tonite and he said that my company that holds part of my pension contacted him trying to find my x.

It seems her portion of my pension she is to receive no longer has enough money in it. I'm not sure what that means. I didn't ask the lawyer what it means either.

About 4 months before D-day, the company I had worked for for 15 yrs was bought out. So in addition to the affair and subsequent divorce I was going thru a job transition(same job, but 180 degrees from how we had done it before).

WHen x first filed, her lawyer asked for 50% of my pension from this new company. Since I had only worked there a few months, there really wasn't any. When I pointed that out to her, they changed and asked for 50% of my other pension.

What they didn't know or ask ,was that they asked for that part of my pension that is anchored and I can't touch till after I have been out of the old company's employement for 5 yrs which won't be till Nov 03. This portion is all company stock.

I took the other portion out and reinvested elsewhere. However, the old company took a hit with the stock market slump and as a result her portion is now no longer cover what she was supposed to get ($39000).

I am not sure what this means, will she expect me to pay her anyway or is it tough luck for her and her attorneys poor choice.

She really doesn't have much pension as she was working part time during the marriage and didn;t qualify for one till late. SHe had only about $5000 at the time of the divorce and I let her keep it all. She has been working full time only about 3 yrs now.

I am not sure what I feel, part of me wants to say tough s$%^, the other realizes she did put in 15 yrs or so. But I am not sure if I have $39000 to give her unless I sell what I have invested.

I can only see this getting ugly.

Hey RWD hang in there, what a rollercoaster, you sure your xw and my xw aren't sisters? I was married in 83 also WW had many A's. It's amazing how what they go after blows right through there hands. My xw thought she was going to drain me at one point however she has it worse than ever.

Bob,

These are my thoughts: do nothing. Don't mention anything to her. Let her find out. If she thinks she is due more money from you, she will go after it. I do not think you should offer her anything. To me, that is another "bailout" and she doesn't need any more of that. If she is legally entitled to some sort of additional compensation from you, the courts will let you know and then you should pay. In the meantime, please do nothing. Isn't that life and just a consequence of life? We all get hit unfairly sometimes. She needs to learn to think things through more succinctly and make some better upfront choices for herself, too.

Take care, Desiree

Desiree,
I am going to do NOTHING. I am not even telling her, that is not my responsibility, that the QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) that oversees a 401k when a divorce takes place.

I did talk to my lawyer and he said there is nothing she can do as she was the one(actually it was her lawyer) that chose that part of the pension. And it wasn't like I hid the part I was able to roll out as I listed it on the divorce form, unlike her who never did fill out the list of assets.

She'll be pissed, but I did nothing wrong, nor did I do anything to affect the stockmarket. She has till Nov 03 for the stock market to rally.
Maybe then I can even get some of my money out of there, because if her's isn't there, then there wouldn't be anything left to what was supposed to be left for me.

Oh, come on RWD, you know you are responsible for the stock market going down. Did you forget? We betrayed spouses are responsible for EVERYTHING!!