I will post the conclusion when I receive it next week....

I don't know how the whole thing started.

All I remember hearing was "Next..", and before I knew
it I was deep into a conversation with the ticket agent
at the United Airlines counter...who was telling me how
she'd always wanted to be a writer.

Never mind the long lines of irate travelers trying to
buy tickets, get seat assignments, or check their bags...
this woman and I were busy, talking about stuff that
really mattered, like her life. And how she wanted "so
badly!" to be a writer.

Had she published anything?

"No," she whispered, face dropping, her eyes, now
sad, staring off into the distance. "I've got so many
dreams, so many things I want to do, all the stuff I
talk about, but I don't ever really do it because I'm
afraid I'll be rejected and I don't think I could
handle that...I mean, what would happen if they didn't
like my stuff?"

But when I answered "Nothing"...she couldn't hear it.
Because she's been brainwashed from birth to believe
the same old lie we've all been told: "What others
think matters more than what you think. And if you do
something 'they' don't like, there's gonna be hell to
pay!"

But the real truth is, she's already living in her
own private F.E.A.R.- based hell, and as good as she
is, she'll never get what she wants until she deals
with the F.E.A.R. that's controlling her life and
sabotaging her success.

And neither will we.

How often do you find yourself making "Oh-my-God!"
scary pictures in your mind of all the terrible
things that will happen if you actually get up the
courage to get out of your box and make your dreams
happen? You know, like seeing yourself being fired,
losing your marriage, kids, house, money, clients,
stuff, health, reputation, friends, etc.?

If you answered "A lot!", you're normal.

Sure, we all put on our brave act every day as we
charge out into the world. But behind the mask and
macho most of us are scared to death. And when we
try to make changes in our lives, the F.E.A.R. part
of us kicks in and does its best to shut the whole
thing down because it wants to keep things the way
they are...whether they're working or not.

How? Simple.

F.E.A.R. stands for "False Expectations Appearing
Real", and it works by launching a full-blown media
campaign in our brains to stop us, cold, anytime we
even *think* about breaking out of our box and doing
something new. F.E.A.R.'s basic strategy? To show us
movies of all the terrible things that'll happen to
us if we don't "quit, give up, and stop that nonsense
right now!"

And F.E.A.R. *continues* to bombard us with all the
sights, sounds, colors, drama, and feelings it takes
to make us stop -- including the threat that if we
don't quit "Now!" we're gonna "hurt like there's no
tomorrow!"

Want to leave a "stable" job you hate for one that's
more risky but pays better and has a brighter future?
Count on your F.E.A.R. part to stick its cold, icy
fingers right down into the pit of your stomach and
start squeezing -- while it tells you, in no uncertain
terms, that "you will *not* do that because you'll
jeopardize everything!"

And so, of course, that's exactly the point where
most of us give up. Right there with our nose pressed
flat against the wall of our box. A few crummy inches
away from living the life we've been dreaming about
for years. And we quit...

...not because we can't do it, but because a bunch of
*False* Expectations Appeared Real...and we bought the
lies...and now we get to spend the rest of our lives
going through the motions and trying to find ways to
make our pain go away.

If you've had enough "being scared!" to last a life
time, take the next few days and begin making a list
of the F.E.A.R.'s that have been stopping you all this
time. That's right...all of them.

Then plan to tune in next week for some practical, out
of the box ways to leave the F.E.A.R.'s behind and get
the life you *know* you're meant to have...that's right,
*meant* to have.

Because regardless of what anyone else tells you, the
only reason you've got those dreams that keep playing
in your head...is because they're supposed to come
true. And they can...

...once the F.E.A.R.'s gone.

Until next week...

© Pat Lynch, 2000-2002. All rights reserved.

Please feel free to forward this on.

***********

Out of the Box is a free weekly e-mail newsletter created
to help you find more effective ways to release your
potential and get the life you've always wanted.

New subscribers are welcome, and there is no charge. To
subscribe, send an e-mail to: join-outofthebox@potential.com.

To unsubscribe, e-mail: leave-outofthebox@potential.com.

***********

Got a story or experience that you think would be helpful
to others in getting out of the box? Please send it to me
at patlynch@potential.com.

***********

Reproduction for publication is approved, provided the
copyright information is included along with the following
attribution: From "Out of the Box", a weekly newsletter by
Pat Lynch. You may contact him at patlynch@potential.com.

***********

Contact information:
Patrick Lynch
patlynch@potential.com
Phone: (602) 689-7904

OK here's the conclusion....

F.E.A.R...nothing stops us faster or more completely.

Great plans, dreams, goals...all of which could have
been ours...dumped like yesterday's garbage when our
F.E.A.R. kicks in and cons us into believing its lies.

"There's no way you can do that!" F.E.A.R. screams
in that I-know-what's-best-for-you voice it uses to
keep us under control and locked up tight in our box.

"I know somebody who tried that and you can't believe
how much they hurt when they failed," our F.E.A.R.
swears. "You just stick with what you've got! I know
it hurts, but hey, life's no picnic...it's not supposed
to be easy! It's full of suffering...no point making
it worse. Just hang in there and be like everybody
else...it'll be OK."

And as stupid as that strategy obviously is when you
stop and think about it, that's *exactly* how most
of us live our lives! We *do* sit back, we *do* hold
back on our power, we *do* sell ourselves short and
sell out for other's approval and to look good and
be liked....

...while we watch our dreams die, needless victims
of our own F.E.A.R.

So how do we get past our F.E.A.R. and get what we
really want?

Begin by remembering F.E.A.R. stands for "False
Expectations Appearing Real"...which means simply
that we make pictures in our mind of all the bad
things we "expect" will happen if we get out of
our box and go for what we're after.

Next, begin working your way through the following
"F.E.A.R.-buster" exercises. Yea, I know you're
too busy, and yea, I know you don't want to write
anything down...trust me on this...it's worth the
effort:

1) You need to decide, once and for all, that it's
time to have the F.E.A.R. instead of letting the
F.E.A.R. have you. The next time F.E.A.R. hits,
don't panic. In fact, don't do anything. Just stop,
stand back, and watch the show! Marvel at the
massive displays of sound and fury, the amazing
level of feelings F.E.A.R. can trigger in a heart-
beat. And remember, as you watch the show, that
it's purpose is to scare you into submission --
which is what will happen if you give in to it,
even a little. Just hang on -- the F.E.A.R. *will*
pass.

2) Start focusing on what can go right rather than
on what can go wrong. Hey, it's your brain: take
control! Spend your time picturing all the *good*
things you're after and how you're going to make
them happen.

3) Make a list of the things you'd do if you weren't
afraid, and then start doing them (yes, it *is* that
simple).

4) Remember, things are never as bad as you think
they are. Truth is, the fear itself is a lot worse
than most of the problems you're facing.

5) Keep showing up...doing what you know you need
to do...even when it doesn't *feel* right...because
there will always be F.E.A.R. The trick is to keep
moving, acting, doing something that takes you toward
your goal versus sitting around thinking about all
your F.E.A.R.s because then they'll mushroom. Take
massive daily action based on your unshakable faith
that things *will* work out, one way or another --
that's your ticket out.

6) Defuse your fear with the following 4-steps:
First, write down your biggest fears and describe
each in detail and tell how it's helped you (yes,
it has helped you) and why you've kept it around.
I know it sounds weird, but our fears have protected
us over the years; that's why we won't let them go.
And we've got to understand how they've helped us
before we can turn them loose. Second, describe the
risk you'll be taking if you don't confront the fear
*now*. Just because the fear's helped you in the
past doesn't mean it won't destroy you in today's
fast-changing world. Third, describe the worst that
can happen if you took the action you've been fearing.
Can you handle that? And, finally, describe the best
that can happen if you do what you're contemplating.
Can you handle that?

7) Change your input. Local TV news has degenerated
into a graphic recap of the day's tragedies, and
tuning in for a nightly dose of misery right before
bedtime's a sure-fire way to get more scared and
depressed. Get your news off the Net...it's better,
quicker, easier. And find shows to watch and books
to read that build you up instead of tearing you
down. Why? Because you think about the stuff you
put in your head, and what you think about becomes
your life.

8) Don't think about anything real serious after
7 at night unless it's *completely* unavoidable.
Why? Easy: by that time of the day you're tired,
your defenses are down, and it's easy for F.E.A.R.
to take over and cause you to say and do really
dumb things.

There's a whole new life out there waiting for you
if you'll just take control and make it happen. But
to do that, you're going to have to face the biggest
F.E.A.R. of all...the one Nelson Mandela described
this way:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that
most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to
be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

"Actually, who are you not to be?

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does
not serve the World. There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other people won't feel
insecure around you.

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God
that is within us. It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone. And as we let our own light
shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others." (by Marianne Williamson from
"A Return To Love")

Enough F.E.A.R already...it's time to get out
of our box and live, really live, before it's
too late.

And you know exactly what I mean.

© Pat Lynch, 2000-2002. All rights reserved.

Please feel free to forward this on.

***********

Out of the Box is a free weekly e-mail newsletter created
to help you find more effective ways to release your
potential and get the life you've always wanted.

New subscribers are welcome, and there is no charge. To
subscribe, send an e-mail to: join-outofthebox@potential.com.

To unsubscribe, e-mail: leave-outofthebox@potential.com.

***********

Got a story or experience that you think would be helpful
to others in getting out of the box? Please send it to me
at patlynch@potential.com.

***********

Reproduction for publication is approved, provided the
copyright information is included along with the following
attribution: From "Out of the Box", a weekly newsletter by
Pat Lynch. You may contact him at patlynch@potential.com.

GREAT!!! Awesome read! Thanks for sharing it!Fear of the unknown was my biggest obstacle to overcome, as I am sure it is for most of us. Once you overcome it, you can accomplish so much!
BH