Got a letter yesterday from a credit card company saying they are investigating me for fraud.....seems my stbx says he never applied for nor recieved the cc I used while we were together. In truth, he applied for every card we recieved an offer for; and I usually threw them away. I kept one for emergencies, he knew it, and I didn't really use it till just before I left him so I could buy appliances and things for the new house. While I don't mind being responsible for part of the bill, I do mind being accused of fraud! I thought it was a nasty thing for him to do.

Also got the divorce settlement from the lawyer to look over. He gets the house, the truck, the Harley, and everything I left in the house when I escaped. I mean moved. I get my van, $500/mo child support, and primary custody of the children. Doesn't quite seem fair.

Sigh.........

how's this for a kick in the pants....

When the ex was out of the matrimonial home (court ordered out)....a couple of months later he called up the insurance company and said all his precious motorcycle gear was *stolen* and collected on over $2,000 of gear that was STILL in the garage. I called the company and they came out to look and take pictures. Of course the ex reported gear that he never even purchased....and since we were clients with them for so long, they paid him out.

Yeah...things that make you go hmmmm...

{{{hugs}}} they keep saying that what doesn't kill us will make us stronger...

Anna,

I wouldn't worry about the "fraud" thing. Just write them a letter saying that you are his wife, he did apply for the credit card...He's the one that will be in trouble.

Also, I wouldn't agree to his terms. Is there equity in the house? He needs to pay that...You have the kids, you should get the house...Has he showed you his check stubb? $500 does not seem to enough.

What does your attorney say? Surely she says this is not a good settlement and don't sign.

Right now, your life is turned upside down, but if you agree to that settlement just to get peace, you will regret this some day. You and your children deserve more.

Good luck and I'd say fight that settlement.

ANNA

Yea, don't worry about the fraud thing. Did the bill come to his home address? Then he must have known about it.

The only problem might be if you forged his signature. But could he prove it? Doubt you did since most stores would recognize that you are not a guy.

As for the divorce settlement... if you don't like it then make the changes you feel make it equitable. If he does not like it then a judge will decide. And the judge will split everything 50/50.

If the stuff in the house was your sole property before marrage. Write up an inventory and tell the judge you want your sole property back. It may help to have photos of the furniture in a place you lived in before you married.

If the stuff is things that both accumulated after marriage then make a list... showing a his/hers split.

Your H is not going to be fair. You have to ask for what you want.

yep, know how that feels. How about just as house is finishing escrow, stbx cancels home owners insurance?

Don't sign a settlement agreement if you think it is not fair. the equity in the house should be split 50/50. I know that, stbx kept things going on to point that I had to pay him $70,000 in equity (of course, he used almost all of that to pay his attorney's fees). Child/spousal support is based on incomes of both you and your spouse, don't you dare let him get away with paying less than he should be.

Find out the blue book value of the truck, the van the Harley, those are community property and the values are used. The equity in the house, you should get any personal property from him before you sign an agreement. Once an agreement is signed, if someone tries to change it there can be many legal isues if an attorney decides to go that way. I tired to say that there was something wrong in the settlement agreement about a retirement account and got some scathing letter from his attorney about some legal thing, yet stbx has changed whatever he wants, I just won't accept the changes.

I had to basically pay off my stbx in the settlement agreement to get this divorce over with. Yes, had to pay him for his shares in the business when he never paid for them in the first place, child support was set with me making $4000/month, when I actually make less than half of that. It was worth it for the moment to just end the divorce, unfortunately we still aren't there and stbx still is trying to nickle and dime me out of anything he can. One can always go back for changes in support and I was planning on doing that. We signed the settlement agreement on 5/30 now court is set for 9/18 about attorneys fees, a permanent stay away order and joint legal custody of the younger daughter. Have no idea what will happen with attorney fees, but I think i am going to get a permanent restraining order (not just stay away) and he probably won't get custody. I can only hope he has to pay some of the attorney fees since he is the one who dragged this out for so long and fought about EVERYTHING even though he is the one who wanted to leave. I'm fighting to stay on my feet and not file bankruptcy, he is happily floating about causing as much damage as he can.

take care, do NOT make any fast decisions and ask for advice from a financial planner if you can.

Lori

I better add a few more details.....it's MY lawyer who wrote this up! The reason I don't get anything is that everything we own was bought with his inheritance in the last year... before that we had beat up old cars and a rented house. In Iowa, an inheritance and everything you buy with it is yours alone.....I'm lucky to get the van.

As to the stuff that's left in the house, it's only books and a few odds and ends not worth going to court over. maybe I'll get them in a few months, I can buy new ones if I don't.

As to child support, he only makes $1400/month. With the support and my PT job, I actually make the same as he did.

Now get this.....tonite I picked up the children who had been with dad all weekend....they told me that his girlfriend and her son were there too, and "she kisses daddy on the lips". What a jerk! We've been seperated for 4 months.

<small>[ September 08, 2002, 07:42 PM: Message edited by: Annavon ]</small>