I have been so pissed off all nite I can't even see straight. My wife is dating an army guy who is a green beret. He seemed like a nice guy but tonite son (he is 13) is telling about the boyfriend telling some war stories. I think cool because I like war stories. It comes out that while boyfriend is telling story he uses the exact language he used on the battlefield while he is telling my son. sh**s, motherf@#$,and I am sure more. Son spelled them out. I am thinking surely my wife is not sitting there listening to this. My son says "Dad I have heard it before and mom was sitting right there". You talk about getting so mad I wanted to kill the SOB for talking like that in front of my son. When my wife was with me any kind of bad language was not tolerated in our house. Has my wife gone off the deep end and now thinks it is OK for Mr. Army guy to talk like that in front of my kids.

Another thing came out about 2 weeks ago. My wife and this guy where at the mall and apparently some kids flipped this guy off and pulled up behind them at stoplight. Mr. army gets out and walks back to car like he is going to whip them. Son is impressed by this story but I am thinking what an idiot. Is that how to handle things. "Lets beat up these kids and teach them a lesson." Again, when my wife was with me that would have made her so mad. She would have been so mad that I was even going to act like I was going to beat somebody up. Instead my wife tells son about it like it is cute. Has she changed that much?

My question is this. Should I confront her about the language thing? All she will do is to tell me I am wrong.

I am trying to raise my kids in a christian atmosphere despite my past but hearing this stuff makes it hard. I am going to talk to son about it this weekend.

I love my wife so much and want us to raise our kids together.

Love in Christ
Cajunky

<small>[ September 10, 2002, 10:11 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

I agree, Mr. Army sounds like an idiot.

While confronting her, or at telling her how you feel, is the sensible thing to do it may not get the results you want.

Unless you can do it in a very low key manner.

“Hey I hear Mr. Army has a pretty foul mouth and a real macho attitude. Surprised you allow that in front of your son.”

“Hey I hear Mr. Army has a pretty foul mouth and a real macho attitude. Son is very impressed with it.”

Anything more then that and your wife will feel that you are trying to control her.

Your son will be less willing to confide in you. My advice is for you to handle it with your son. Tell him how you feel about it. That he is not to use those words in your home. Tell him why you object to the scene at the mall. Use this as a way to teach your son right from wrong and how to handle situations.

<small>[ September 08, 2002, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: zorweb ]</small>

zorweb....Thanks for replying. I have calmed down some and prayed about it and I agree with you. I decided to pray for my wife to see these things and decided just to talk to my son about it in a non mad attitude. I can't talk to my wife about this without seeming controlling so I am leaving it up to God to take care of things.

Man, it is so hard to still love your wife so much and not be able to have her.

Love in christ
cajunky

<small>[ September 09, 2002, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

My Friend,

One of the hardest parts of this is that you are going to have to realize her parenting time is hers, and your parenting time is yours. I'm worried that if you come on to strong with this one you might get shut out.

The harsh reality of this situation is that you will have to pick your battles very carefully for the time being. If you tick her off with the language issue and she decides not to communicate with you when a bigger issue comes up you might be left without any recourse but the court.

Z is right, use your home to provide the example. You can get some great parenting time in, some wonderful examples of how you expect things to be done, and a safe place to question what is right and wrong.

Keep the peace, choose battles wisely, and like Mom says for all this tough stuff you get a higher place in heaven. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

E

I went through some of this too, I found out that my x's om was into guns. He took my son along with x to a couple gun shows. He bought him a handgranade and some throwing stars(although they were fakes). I also found out he had an AK47, which is normally an automatic weapon.

So I called x and expressed my concern about the availability of the weapon. X informed me that is kept locked up and firing pin was removed. She then told me off about being controlling and not being in control in HER house.

Son recently told me that there was a switch on the gun to make it an automatic weapon. Son said om never fired it though.

So what I am saying is it probably won't do any good other than creating friction betweem you and the w.

Unfortunetely my son, 11yo, already knows these words. The key is to make sure he isn't using these words on a regular basis, that he can learn from you. Don't make the lesson as a dig at om, but make sure son understands it is not accessible.

Justthewife, RWD, thanks for replying. I have decided to just let it go and set a great example when he is here. I don't think I believe my wife has changed like this because she was always a christian lady. Her values and character were one of her biggest qualities. If this stuff is true she has done a complete 180 of the woman that I and everyone who knows her loves and respects. I have seen changes in her but none like this.

I love my wife no matter the circumstances.

Love in Christ
cajunky

You're doing the right thing. I know it is hard for you...

(((((cajunky)))))

E