Several of you(Peach, GIIC, WGTT) have asked to be posted on the update...

WS has moved into apt with OM because I won't set her up in her own apt ("It's your fault...OM is a gentleman because he is helping in my time of need"). Then she asks me for $550 to help her with deposit! I said the only way I will loan her $ is after she signs Sep. Agreement. She said "don't you trust me?!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> LOL

I told her that if kids are ever over there and OM is present, I will definitely see nothing but red and go after him...she said not to worry...

Anyway, hopefully she will sign Sep. Agreement... she wants to in worst way (funny thing is she has not lifted a damn finger to do anything!!!)
I had attorney make sure myself and children are well protected <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ...

Any bets that she will marry OM immediately after divorce is final?

BTW...started a divorce recovery series at church called Beginning Again...it seems it will be a great help for me...

Cheers!!

Pete

hI PETE,

WS has moved into apt with OM because I won't set her up in her own apt ("It's your fault...OM is a gentleman because he is helping in my time of need").

It's always our fault when they don't get what they want and we impose normal healthy consequences to their actions.

told her that if kids are ever over there and OM is present, I will definitely see nothing but red and go after him...she said not to worry

Is this in writing in the agreement?

BTW...started a divorce recovery series at church called Beginning Again...it seems it will be a great help for me...

Pete - your sounding better and better ..... Post more about the recovery series when you gt a chance.

God Bless,

D.

Pete,
Sounds like my x, after she took her money out of joint savings account, om moved in because he didn't want her to be alone. I told her I wanted om to pay me half of the money back. She said he was supplying all the furniture.( I guess he was experienced living home so he had extra furniture!).

Good luck on keeping om away from the kids. That will be a tough battle. It will be constant LBers. I almost got arrested on that one. Watch the threats too!

The LB will ruin any chance to reconciliation if that is what you hope and she will push divorce through and then om will be around your kids.

I agree in that op shouldn't be around the kids, but the only way is court ordered. It seems to be a temporary stop gap measure.

I was given advice by a minister to relax on fighting to keep om away from my kids unless he was dangerous to them. He pointed out x was going to marry the guy and didn't I want them to have a peaceful relationship with him so that their life would be easier???

Its a tough concept. When I tried keeping the kids away, x told them I was not allowing them to see her.

You will be getting plenty of support to keep your kids away from the om and I semi agree, but as I said it probably will be a short term thing.

I tried to get RO from om being there too, but divorce papers were already filed by x and my l said there was nothing I could do.

Hang in!

Pete,

Glad you did not give her the $$$. And I am behind you in the OM thing, but in reality they will pop up in front of the kids. That is when we must just pray. It was indeed in my temp. order that she is not around son. Made sure of that. Used legalese instead of my own words. Pushed it off on attorney to handle. Much better that way. Just say, well, that is the law and such. Blow it off. Worked for me.

It is sooo ironic that your W is not "actively" pursuing the Sep. agreement. I got a call yesterday from H and he verbally smashed me b/c I wasn't pushing the D through fast enough. Why is it they who are the ones not actively doing anything except whatever their little hearts desire and we are the ones having to do all the work that is really work and painful to boot? Kinda like the Shakespeare phrase: "out, out damn spot" where the guy tries to keep washing the blood off of his hands. They are trying to push their guilt off onto us. That if they push us to the limits of decency, we will react and push them away and sever our Marriages.

It is unfair. Just plain unfair. But I am done witht he unfair and the misery. Started working actively instead to do some things about my life.

I applaud you in going to divorce recovery. I am considering as well. Went to a support group last year and it was, well, depressing. (ha ha). Instead of focusing on the recovery part and the getting on with it, they just wallowed in the misery. And afterward everyone would go to the little sports place across the street and drink beer. Oh, that helps depression. So I am going to attempt to go to a different focused program. I've cried a million tears and know that tomorrow I will probably cry a million more. Anniv. of my filing D papers tomorrow and 9/11. I never wanted to do it and just cried and cried while my hand shook violently as I signed my name on them.

I just have to lay this pain at my Lord's feet and try to move on. It is hard for us, but you are a good dad and person. Someone will one day see you as that strong person who weathered a huge storm for your children. Someone will one day love you even more for that quality. YOur children already do and later on, a special woman will find those things and more to love within your soul. Am praying for you and wishing you peace. Please pray for me. Today and tomorrow will be soooo hard. I filed at 10 am. Entered the law office about 9 when most of it unfolded. It was horrible. The paralegals were screaming watching the tv in the other room and I was in a daze. Just remembered thinking that so many people lost soo much that horrible day. Praying that God can place a spirit of recovery within me tomorrow and that like the other families, we will go on with love in our hearts and a resilient spirit. I am trying each day and sometimes it is more difficult than words can imagine. I am thankful for friends here. ((((hugs to you and kids)))))