After several years of being unhappy, I finally was able to focus and realize why I have been so with my husband. I am very emotional and open and he is very critical and doesn't talk.

I told him last week that I wanted some time apart. He told me he's not leaving and if I want a divorce to get one. Not sure if he is in denial or if he really means it. It's making me not even want to try even if we separate.

I refuse to leave because 1) I want the house 2) I made efforts to work at relationship and he didn't even down to this point 3) He parties every night with people and he will do the same when I leave thus my house will be a party house and he won't have time alone to make any decisions if he stays and 4) We have 3 dogs, 3 cats, and also 2 birds, a pond, and a salt tank (the last 3 of which he wants nothing to do with) which I have to follow up with him to take care of as well as bills since all of it has been my responsibility and the few things he does do (feed the dogs, kitty litter) he forgets about all the time.

It's only been a week, but what if he keeps refusing to leave? Do I need to get a lawyer?

If we do divorce, is there any way I could get the house (which I can afford, esp. with a roomate but do not qualify for on my own for financing the full amount)? If we can't agree, does the court make a decision to sell it or is it possible it will be awardewd to one of us.

Same with the animals.

Just trying to cover bases with what matters most to me.

Thanks!

Hi Hippiechick -
I can only speak from my experience. First, if you know you want a divorce and you know you want the house - then consult a lawyer.

If both of your names are on the house loan, you will most likely have to refinance in your own name. Depending on all your joint assets, you could have to pay him half of the equity in the house - unless he has a 401K or some annuity that could help even things out.

In my situation - I kept the house. I can qualify to refinance in my own name. He kept his 401K. Pretty fair.

I wouldn't leave the house though until you talk to a qualified attorney.

Good luck and take care of all those furballs!

Llama

Hello,
I have a house loan with my husband. He is just the cosigner but the property the house is on he bought from his parents. The property has 5 acres and his parents live next door. I met with an attorney to find out my "rights". I decided that I was better off leaving because I really didnt want to live next door to his parents and we will have to figure out something to get my name off the loan. We are still working on it, but definately see an attorney before doing anything. --Christine