I was married when I got pregant when I turned 17. we have been married now 5 years with a 5 year old daughter. It was Ok until about 2 years ago when he had a computer problem, porn chatting with girls he met online. I forgave him then he did it again. forgave him again. Now I am miserable we went to counseling(we fought worse) I love him as my daughters father But I am not in love with him anymore He makes me sick. I cant look at him I hate kissing him. He is trying but the more he trys the more I back away cause the sicker I feel. I have been haning with other guys, I am so muc happier I am not having a sexual affair more of a emotional support. everyone in my family keeps telling me you'll never find a man like him and I am scared that they are right. I am scared to do this on my own and that I will make the wrong choice. I am 22 now and I am afraid that by the time I make a choice I will be 50 and divorcing, or I divorce him and what if I made the wrong choice. No one I talk to understands. I try to communicate how I feel 2 young to deal with all this, I am getting very depressed and I think I would be happier alone, Any advice would be grateful Thanks so Much Tara

SOunds like you need a better counselor. I don't have a lot of advice on this subject, but know it has been discussed in the "Emotional Needs" BB area...you might want to post there to get more response.<P>Meanwhile, here's a thread dealing with these issues...<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/000288.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/000288.html</A>

This problem I can relate to. I know how it is to be in a relationship so young, and I don't know why, but eventually, you fall out of love, because you find more things out. Yes, computer affairs are common, and they cause alot of problems in relationships. I don not agree with your family that you will never find someone better, because if you are saying how misarable you are at home, and happy you are kicking it with somebody else, obviously there is better. Do not allow anyone to put that guilt on you. I hear from your plea that you are falling into that"I can't do without him" mode. Girl, wake up, you are 22 years old with one child. When I was 22 I had 3 kids. Don't allow yourself to go through life miserable. It will break you down, I know, I've been there. Yes, it is hard to leave, and you have to want to leave. You are not fed up yet, cause if you were, you would be gone. You will know when you are tired and fed up. You have to think about you and the well-being of you and your baby. This is not well-being, this is torture!<P>------------------<BR>E.D.C

Hi Tara,<P>I'd have to disagree with the advice that FaddyBoo gave you. How is your "hanging with guys" for "emotional support" any better than what he did? Have you considered that maybe that is what he was seeking also? Emotional support? If so many people have told you that you'd never find anyone like him, they may be right. This can be worked out Tara. With so many more years ahead of you, you shouldn't give up too soon. Of course there are other people out there, but would that be a good wife, to give up so soon? Maybe you both could use a little time off of the computer. Maybe the two of you could agree on that for two months or so and see how that goes for you.<P>

Did you love him in the beginning or just marry because it was the "right thing to do"?I disagree w/helpme_jesus.Dont stay because you will feel like a quiter either.Stay if you love him and if he is a good dad.If you cant imagine your life w/o him,or he you.Most children grow up and ask their parents why they stayed together,because they seen how miserable they were.Kids are smart and they are not blind.God gives us choices,just because you married him,does not mean he put the marriage together.Being a single mom is very hard,I have been there.It is also hard waking up w/someone you cant stand.Ask yourself if you love this man or are you convinced [by everyone else]that you are not worthy of true happiness? God bless you,Tee

My wife and I married young as you did. Several times in our marriage we both felt it would been better to end it. For her part she was too afraid to. For mine I new I loved her and the troubles weren't impossible to overcome. But we never managed to talk enough about the problems til they obliterated all reason. Well Yesterday we have been apart for 2 month on our way to ending 20 years together if we cannot learn to communicate. You are miserable now and will be aslong as your situation continues.<BR>Pray for guidance and act in good faith. Talk to your spouse. negotiate, reason, compromise but keep faith and hope alive.<BR>Passions are embers that can reignite if you tend the coals carefully. Do not allow yourself to beome a door mat. nor should you stomp in with boots on. Walk quietly with smiles and resurances. Listen, even if you don't like what you hear. The answers come in time. Learn to recognize them and God Bless