Once again we are at a disagreement.

My wife in her call to me today (Because I called home to see if her brother that is visiting from Seattle is going to stay there with our 3 year old until I got home, and she was mad that I didn't talk to her!)

Well after she barks and yells at me for not talking to her, which I responded, "I didn't figure you would want to talk to me."

She said, "Well tomorrow we are going to sit down with 7 year old and tell him." I responded that I needed to think about that.

Right now I dopn't think it is the time for this blow to come to our 7 year old. So far the complaint for divorce is served, but wife still has to meet with her attorney at the end of next week, and she has 30 days from the service to respond. Then there will be mediation, then court, then probably a trial.

So what do ya'll think? I personally believe his little heart does not need to know about this until a more concrete process has started (mediation, depos, etc.)

She also stated that she was FINALLY going to spend all day Sunday with the boys, a little too late IMHO. But I have a gut feeling she is beginning to put plans into motion to have our kids meet the other man's kids, tell ours how much fun it is going to be with new brother and sister. Just to turn the tide a bit.

Thoughts?

Advice?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hurting in georgia again:
<strong>Once again we are at a disagreement.

My wife in her call to me today (Because I called home to see if her brother that is visiting from Seattle is going to stay there with our 3 year old until I got home, and she was mad that I didn't talk to her!)

Well after she barks and yells at me for not talking to her, which I responded, "I didn't figure you would want to talk to me."

She said, "Well tomorrow we are going to sit down with 7 year old and tell him." I responded that I needed to think about that.

Right now I dopn't think it is the time for this blow to come to our 7 year old. So far the complaint for divorce is served, but wife still has to meet with her attorney at the end of next week, and she has 30 days from the service to respond. Then there will be mediation, then court, then probably a trial.

So what do ya'll think? I personally believe his little heart does not need to know about this until a more concrete process has started (mediation, depos, etc.)

She also stated that she was FINALLY going to spend all day Sunday with the boys, a little too late IMHO. But I have a gut feeling she is beginning to put plans into motion to have our kids meet the other man's kids, tell ours how much fun it is going to be with new brother and sister. Just to turn the tide a bit.

Thoughts?

Advice?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh boy, she certainly is pretty good at ordering you around isn't she? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I too agree with you that it's still too early to have your young son be told what's going to happen. In fact I would advise you to seek a professional child counselor to advise you as to the best way to bring forth the truth to your children.

Try not to speculate what she's going to do on Sunday with the boys because you'll only drive yourself crazy. Just pray to God that out of this whole sad situation she starts to take her role as mother more seriously.

She is angry with you because she can no longer control you with her lies and deceit. Now she will have to depend on OM to fill all her EN's and her fantasy R with him is going to be subjected to a toxic dose of reality. Your doing great in how you respond to her childish outbursts and sooner or later she will realize that she won't gain anything from them.

Remember, you are not alone.

If I may, I am in emotional needs right now as W and I are in trouble. See My Own New Thread. I agree with the last post, your children are the most important people to protect here, just spend as much time with them as you can, and DO NOT INVOLVE THEM, if you can help it, many time the kids are used as pawns in a situation such as this, they need only know mom, and dad love them very much and that's it.
b

I don't know for sure 'but by what I have read on other threads, I think your attorney can stop her
from bringing your children around OM atleast until your divorce is final.
I think your seven year old doen't need to know all this until later.

What time does W wake up?

I think this might be a nice time to get up an hour or two earlier and spend a Father-son day fishing!...Or at the amusement park, taking grandma shopping...you get the picture!

Maybe get out the camping gear and go to the nearest state park for the weekend. You can borrow or rent gear if you don't have it!

She is only threatening to tell him in order to hurt you. She is totally blind right now, to the hurt she will be putting on him.

Unless you will be violating some court order, I say protect the kid for the weekend and pray for Holy Intervention!

Ever blunt,

B.W.

Let me Amen that last post, Blunt, just spend time with the kids, this may be divine intervention in and of itself. Have the best weekend that you can.....with the children
b

Well the day is over as far as the wife goes.

She got home this morning at 7:15 am, and today we were scrambling to get her brother to the airport so he can head back to Seattle.

I picked up some lunch for the whole house and the wife mentioned to me when there was no one around.

"You think we should tell him that mom and dad are not getting along?"

I responded, with a resounding NO. There was way too much farther to go and he does not need to live through the next 30-90 days heartbroken.

She said, well I think he needs to know. He needs to know what you put in those papers. Which, if you really loved me, you never would have done that.

I told her that I was only going to say it once more, that the words in the papers are from the depo's, PI, and other stuff that has been DOCUMENTED. And trying to sway the 7 yo because Daddy, is fighting for him and his brother, and making momma look bad is just not right. She should have thought about all this before. She should have thought about it when she refused to go to counciling back in Feb. When she refused the separation, and just wanted to hurry up and get it all over with so she could start her new life.

She was obviously pissed because I refused to tell my son about all this right now. Repeating, if you loved me, you would not have put that sh*t in there.

I told that I very much love her, but I am not going to allow my kids to placed in a strange house with a strange man, and his two kids, and his momma, just because she lacked the willingness to try and make a 10 year relationship work.

So needless to say, she showered, packed her silky nightie, and grabbed her overnight bag. So just like before it's me and those that matter the most to me right now. My best friends whom happen to be my two boys.

Thanks for all the feedback

Good for you HIGA for standing your ground with regards to your stbxww shameless ploy to use your son as a weapon against you. She KNOWS she is wrong and tries to obscure the facts with her tactics, but thanks to your solid stand on the facts, her tactics are nothing more than feeble attempts at trying to control you. Stay the course for the sake of you and your children.