F.E.A.R...nothing stops us faster or more completely.

Great plans, dreams, goals...all of which could have
been ours...dumped like yesterday's garbage when our
F.E.A.R. kicks in and cons us into believing its lies.

"There's no way you can do that!" F.E.A.R. screams
in that I-know-what's-best-for-you voice it uses to
keep us under control and locked up tight in our box.

"I know somebody who tried that and you can't believe
how much they hurt when they failed," our F.E.A.R.
swears. "You just stick with what you've got! I know
it hurts, but hey, life's no picnic...it's not supposed
to be easy! It's full of suffering...no point making
it worse. Just hang in there and be like everybody
else...it'll be OK."

And as stupid as that strategy obviously is when you
stop and think about it, that's *exactly* how most
of us live our lives! We *do* sit back, we *do* hold
back on our power, we *do* sell ourselves short and
sell out for other's approval and to look good and
be liked....

...while we watch our dreams die, needless victims
of our own F.E.A.R.

So how do we get past our F.E.A.R. and get what we
really want?

Begin by remembering F.E.A.R. stands for "False
Expectations Appearing Real"...which means simply
that we make pictures in our mind of all the bad
things we "expect" will happen if we get out of
our box and go for what we're after.

Next, begin working your way through the following
"F.E.A.R.-buster" exercises. Yea, I know you're
too busy, and yea, I know you don't want to write
anything down...trust me on this...it's worth the
effort:

1) You need to decide, once and for all, that it's
time to have the F.E.A.R. instead of letting the
F.E.A.R. have you. The next time F.E.A.R. hits,
don't panic. In fact, don't do anything. Just stop,
stand back, and watch the show! Marvel at the
massive displays of sound and fury, the amazing
level of feelings F.E.A.R. can trigger in a heart-
beat. And remember, as you watch the show, that
it's purpose is to scare you into submission --
which is what will happen if you give in to it,
even a little. Just hang on -- the F.E.A.R. *will*
pass.

2) Start focusing on what can go right rather than
on what can go wrong. Hey, it's your brain: take
control! Spend your time picturing all the *good*
things you're after and how you're going to make
them happen.

3) Make a list of the things you'd do if you weren't
afraid, and then start doing them (yes, it *is* that
simple).

4) Remember, things are never as bad as you think
they are. Truth is, the fear itself is a lot worse
than most of the problems you're facing.

5) Keep showing up...doing what you know you need
to do...even when it doesn't *feel* right...because
there will always be F.E.A.R. The trick is to keep
moving, acting, doing something that takes you toward
your goal versus sitting around thinking about all
your F.E.A.R.s because then they'll mushroom. Take
massive daily action based on your unshakable faith
that things *will* work out, one way or another --
that's your ticket out.

6) Defuse your fear with the following 4-steps:
First, write down your biggest fears and describe
each in detail and tell how it's helped you (yes,
it has helped you) and why you've kept it around.
I know it sounds weird, but our fears have protected
us over the years; that's why we won't let them go.
And we've got to understand how they've helped us
before we can turn them loose. Second, describe the
risk you'll be taking if you don't confront the fear
*now*. Just because the fear's helped you in the
past doesn't mean it won't destroy you in today's
fast-changing world. Third, describe the worst that
can happen if you took the action you've been fearing.
Can you handle that? And, finally, describe the best
that can happen if you do what you're contemplating.
Can you handle that?

7) Change your input. Local TV news has degenerated
into a graphic recap of the day's tragedies, and
tuning in for a nightly dose of misery right before
bedtime's a sure-fire way to get more scared and
depressed. Get your news off the Net...it's better,
quicker, easier. And find shows to watch and books
to read that build you up instead of tearing you
down. Why? Because you think about the stuff you
put in your head, and what you think about becomes
your life.

8) Don't think about anything real serious after
7 at night unless it's *completely* unavoidable.
Why? Easy: by that time of the day you're tired,
your defenses are down, and it's easy for F.E.A.R.
to take over and cause you to say and do really
dumb things.

There's a whole new life out there waiting for you
if you'll just take control and make it happen. But
to do that, you're going to have to face the biggest
F.E.A.R. of all...the one Nelson Mandela described
this way:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that
most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to
be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

"Actually, who are you not to be?

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does
not serve the World. There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other people won't feel
insecure around you.

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God
that is within us. It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone. And as we let our own light
shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others." (by Marianne Williamson from
"A Return To Love")

Enough F.E.A.R already...it's time to get out
of our box and live, really live, before it's
too late.

And you know exactly what I mean.

© Pat Lynch, 2000-2002. All rights reserved.

Please feel free to forward this on.

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Pat Lynch. You may contact him at patlynch@potential.com.