Okay, remember last week when stbx told me he had split from OW? Well I just spoke to his mother and he didn't tell them. He DID tell them that she wasn't coming for Christmas because 'it may upset the family' (oh how BIG of her) but that was a couple of weeks ago. So now I am thinking that he is pretending to have split with her to make me more compliant in the settlement and divorce.

Neverending isn't it?

reply

ok, ok...just joking
i am IMing with you as I type this, so you know what I think.

He is lying to Mummy.

seeplusplus

does it really matter if he lied or not, would you be more compliant if he is not with her. Remember this a a finacial excersise and you need to look out for yourself no matter what.

Nina too:

Doesn't matter...........
The fact you're wondering about it says a lot more, doesn't it? Obviously it matters to you if they're together or not. Think carefully how much weight you decide to give this in your approach to him. Maybe he is playing you, since he should know which buttons to push by now. This would still not change anything. Decide for yourself 1st if you need him to be broken off with OW. He may not have told family about it, just to escape their comments about it. Game-playing is all part of the WS world. You should stick to the task at hand: why not come straight out and ask him why he didn't tell family? Confront him and check his reaction.

Keep your head on your shoulders, and don't be B-S'd into wimping on the settlement. What are you going to do? Hear evidence in mitigation of sentence? You can see how ridiculous that is. Money is money. What's fair is fair. Nothing changes.

muzohead

Hey jabber and Muzo,

I know all of that...it doesn't change what I have asked for in the settlement. I believe if he DID lie it is a ploy that they dreamed up in the HOPE it would make me soft.

Does it matter to me if they split up? You bet...he was going to marry her, and she is NOT good step mother material for my kids, for many reasons. And I could never get along with someone who helped in the disintegration of my marriage. THAT is why it matters to me.

As for him, no way do I want him back. I am not stupid, lol!

Jacky,

I am wondering same thing since my D is in full swing and 2 mos. ago he claims OW broke up w/him and he called me crying...Then son tells me how he was at OW's house last weekend. But STBX claims they are just friends from now on and I do have one other eyewitness who claims that she is out on prowl for next victim....

Anyhow, GA is a fault state and guess what??? Austin is the ONE AT FAULT ACCORDING TO MY FILING... This is very important. We must not lose our heads when alot is at stake and the wellness of children also..

I do hope and pray that he is leaving the fog FINALLY!

Nina too:

Does it matter to me if they split up? You bet...he was going to marry her, and she is NOT

Yeah, I can identify with this. My ex thought that I would let bygones be bygones, and SOCIALISE with OM at a party! With our common friends! Talk about FOG. I told her that I thought OM to be totally without any integrity, less than a man, and so on. She said "but you will like him...." I DON'T THINK SO. When their relationship (?) bombed, I felt a certain justification. I could NEVER have accepted him.

Imagine the introduction at the party: " Leon, this is OM"
ME: 1. " So what are the GF + kids doing tonight?"
2. " don't mind if I don't shake your hand, I know where it's been"
3. " so what makes you think I

still won't knock your block off"
4. " WACK!"
5. " So when ARE you leaving your GF?"
6. " so what does your GF say about the fact you won't sleep with her?..........ooooo-o-o-oh, I see, of course, you still do, don't you....."

I wonder if my ex has not replayed the scenario in her mind. Too much fog, I guess.

muzohead

Yeah, I am SURE he thought I could be friends with OW...yuck. They are soo in the fog.

Today is our youngest's birthday. He called three times while we were out, and left messages that I only received after he finally got through on my mobile phone, which he has only called once before.

On the mobile, he sounded really PO'd and said "It's me, trying to get through to Sophie...What's up with your phone?" I said nothing and that we were out. So he says "Yeah ok, lemme talk to her." So RUDE!

So I go about my life and at some point I listen to voicemail. He called three times, all close together, and the third call he says "Hurry up and get off the phone will ya???" Then hangs up deafeningly.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Does he think he can still control me? Gee, I am not even allowed to use my own phone anymore (I wasn't, I was out, but HE thought I was blabbing...)

Well obviously, OW or no OW, the man hasn't changed, hasn't learned a thing and is still a hotheaded inconsiderate AH.