Does anyone have any suggestions getting thru this part of ending a marriage of 22 yrs. I have 3 kids 16,14,10..they are also getting depressed..this whole mess has taken it's toll on all of us. I use to love my H..now he's so different. It so hard to get thru the weekend..he moved out to live with his GR. That was 90 days ago..He the moved out on her, back home for 14 days and on the run again. I really need to file for divorce..but it seems so final and I don't want to be alone. I guess that is better than all the destruction he is causing..any suggestions on getting thru the weekends and nights..friends who have been thru this..say the other side is so much better...a sigh of relief...it's so bad on this side..is it really better on the other side..I'm giving up..have more than I can handle..it is affecting the mental health of the kids..this weekend was the worse for all of us..It's time to give up before I cause more destruction..
PLEASE HELP..

I'm very sorry for your pain. But, I must ask, aren't you already alone now? And for the sake of the children, it is better that the bad vibes in the house are at least gone with you two separated. Think of your marriage before you were aware of all the deceit, as a deck of cards that with one blow can fall down. That is how shaky your life was then. Now the cards have fallen and you are on solid ground, more than you know it. Never be afraid of being alone. Plus, you have your children, family, friends, a higher being to help you through. Yes, it's nice to know someone is there, even if they are watching tv or in another room. But, if that person has hurt you or continues to, that is really being alone. Make your household YOUR household now the way you want. Please don't be scared to be alone because you really are not.

Filing for divorce is only a signature away from being final. If you are not really ready to do this-don't. It sounds like he is really messed up right now and I don't blame you for wanting peace in your home.
Read about the plan B here. You do NOT have to allow him to come into the home until and if you are both ready to be committed again.
As far as divorce-its not up to friends or family. It is your marriage and 22 years that you have to think about.

I am a firm advocate in counseling for the children. It has really helped my d and s. It gives the child a 'safe', neutral person to talk to. Someone to help them understand that it is not their fault. That their feelings, sadness, anger, whatever, are normal and ok....

And you need to work with their therapist to help you understand and meet their needs at this sad and stressful time.

Better to pay a therapist on the front end than after all the damage is done and engrained.