I need advice. My wedding ring is appraised at $2,000. We were married 12 years. Usually, I would expect that the ring is mine to keep, but the catch is that the ring belonged to his mother, who died before I met him. So far he hasn't said anything about the ring, but as it's a family heirloom, I feel uncomfortable keeping it. On the other hand, he put me through 12 years of abuse and I got nothing through the divorce...he got the house, furniture, everything. He hasn't said anything about the ring yet.....suggestions?

If he got everything else, then it seems fair to me (if not fair, because he seems to have come out better off than you, then at least right) that you get the ring. If you do not want a family heirloom of his then I think he should give you fair market value for the ring.

my best to you.

Look at the ring and see what it means to you. It was in the family-but it was a gift to you. It represents twelve years of your life-the bad and the good. His mother is no longer on this earth. Who does it belong to? You, since the day he gave it to you.

It is your ring, period.

A family heirloom is designed to hand down to the next generation. If your husband gets it back, say in another $20,000, he'll be desperate for more money. He will sell the ring and the children will not have something from their grandmother...

Keep the ring, probably in a safety deposit box.

Do you have children? If so, you can keep the ring and give it to one of your children or granchildren someday, either while you are living or in your will. That will keep it in the family. If you don't have children, maybe there is a niece or nephew it can be left to.

The other possibility, if he wants the ring, is that he can buy it back from you for its appraised value. You might need the money more than the memories. I think you need a legal opinion about whose property the ring is before suggesting this, and it would be wise to get that opinion before he brings it up.

I had a similar situation in my first marriage ( a brooch left to me by X's grandma)but all my jewelry, such as it was, was stolen during a break in and that took care of that! My plan had been to wear it in memory of her (she was a wonderful woman) and then when my son got married, give it to his wife or daughter so it would stay in their family.