After my husband got the mail, he told me he was going out for awhile. Now I know why. I received the following letter:

"I HAVE BEEN RETAINED BY YOUR HUSBAND TO REPRESENT HIM IN YOUR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE. MR. ______ SEEKS TO MAINTAIN AN AMICABLE AND WORKING RELATIONSHIP FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR MINOR SON.

MR. ____ WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SETTLEMENT CONFERENCES WITH YOU AND YOUR ATTORNEY TO DISCUSS THE RESOLUTION OF ALL MARITAL ASSETS AND LIABILITIES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY TO ADDRESS THE TIMESHARING NEEDS OF YOUR MINOR SON.

I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU OR YOUR ATTORNEY WITHIN THE NEXT 10 DAYS. IF I DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU BY THAT TIME, I HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO PROCEED WITH THE FILING OF THE PETITION FOR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE BUT TO ALSO SEEK AN ORDER COMPELLING MEDIATION REGARDING YOUR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE.

I LOOK FORWARD TO THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS THE MATTER WITH YOUR ATTORNEY OR YOURSELF, AS I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO AMICABLY RESOLVE THESE MATTERS. SIGNED MY HUSBAND'S ATTORNEY."

Guess he started the ball rolling? I had planned to serve him with the petition tomorrow but since his grandmother had to go into the hospital for surgery and everyone was going crazy, I felt it would be better to wait until Monday to serve him. If I wait until Monday, will I still be the Petitioner in the case we go to trial or am I now considered the Defendant?

I called my Attorney right away and she had me fax her the letter. She told me not to talk to anyone about it (I guess she meant my husband and my MIL) and that she would handle it. He came home and didn't even ask me if I received the letter. He got the mail so he knew it came. How do I interpret this?

You're not a Defendant; you're a Respondent.

Is there any legal advantage to being the first one to file in your state? What does your lawyer say? Trust her, follow her advice, and do whatever you can to keep your legal expenses down. And document, document, document.

Hubby's still living in the home? And you have a new baby? How does he think he's going to accomplish the D? Why doesn't he move out?

Sorry. You don't need this stress.

I'm sorry that I do not know the whole story here, however reading your post, made me ill just thinking how you must feel.
The people in here have been so good to me, I wanted to let you know that I will lift you and your child, children up in prayer.
Please keep asking questions, and like they said earlier, make a note of everything that is not already down on paper, if you are unsure, write it down again.
If you don't mind I would like to write this,
"We become more adept at rising to the occasion each time we see ourselves doing it. Every time we cope well with whatever real life throws our way, it's another deposit of confidence, creativity, and courage in our self esteem account...When you need to rise to the occasion, do it with style. Do it with a knowing smile. Confound them. Astound yourself. Make it look easy, and it will become so."
Sarah Ban Breathnach
May the Lord keep you and your children in His loving arms and comfort you.
b

When your husband was going to be served, was it a similar type letter, or was this the actual papers that are being filed with the county.

You are way too kind Baby. I would not have put it off. Isn't this twice now that you put this back. If your attorney thinks it is in your best interest to serve him now, go with it. Don't delay because his grandma is in the hosp. If the tables were turned, I don't think he would have given it any thought.