Hello again,

My wife of 11 years and I are 32 days away from the child custody hearing of our divorce which she filed for. She has come running home three times in the last 11 months she has lived away witht the kids. She seems to only come back when her boyfriend and her split. Two weeks ago Monday was her last flight back and I fell for it hook line and sinker and drove 300 miles RT to be with her and bring her home. Twelve hours later she emails me to say she acted too fast and even though it would be good for the kids, she did not have enough love left in the marriage to come back or even see a marriage counselor of her choice. She turned her phone off and that was that. Just like night and day!

My question is, should I keep pursuing her with cards and flowers and such like I did when we were in the dating stage thirteen years ago or just let the divorce proceed it's natural course?

Roadracer,
I'll give you my 2 cents worth on this...
Do you think she had her phone number shut-off or did she just have the telephone# changed?
As I mentioned before, I believe she is just using you as a threat to get back at the "OM".
IMHO, I would not pursue her.
She knows you are ready and waiting in the wings to break her fall if she needs it.
At this point, I would keep it all business, and hope for the best.
I know what you are going through, and you are in a tough situation as sorry as I am to have to say this.
Maybe once she realizes that your not there for her, she may begin to have second thoughts about following through with the "D" and want to call it off.
I don't recall... do you have the children or does she?
In any case... I would start looking after yourself as well as what is in the best interests of your children.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Wallace,

She turned off her home phone and cell phone. She has always done that BS ever since I met her when she did not want to talk. Otherwise she has no qualms about just hanging up in the middle of a conversation. Under the advice of church counsellors I let let her take the kids when she left the first time last November. This was the non-threatening approach recommended to me in hope of getting her back by being the "nice" guy.

Personally, looking back, I think I should have told her to leave the kids until she figured out what she wanted. Oh well, hind sight is 20/20.

J