Well, tomorrow is the big day. XW and Mr. Person (as Daughter calls him) are tying the knot. My feelings are currently ranging from the old anger to relief with everything in betwixt. They are having 140 people, because it's his first marriage (he's 45 years old). After the pre-marriage party tonite, Mr. Person is going to the Indian casino for an all niter with all the drinking buddies, playing golf all day tomorrow and then tying the knot. Hope he drinks lots of electrolytes. Then a honeymoon in "Sin City". How appropriate!

Next weekend for visitation, I'll have to do all the driving (130 mi each way) since her elderly parents who were described in her motion to relocate as "vital and active" are not up to the drive. A dose of digitalis would take care of that.

Tomorrow, I plan on spending 5 or 6 hours at work in my Midtown Manhattan office and then maybe going to my favorite watering hole on Hudson St. My other option was going to "Ground Zero" after work.

I'd love to hear from others who have met this day and what kind of things you did on your X's wedding day.

Originally, thunderstorms were in the forecast but that has been changed. Too bad.

Jay

Catamount - OK well I haven't experienced this yet - I just got divorced on Wednesday but I can only imagine your feelings - but you know what stay strong - hey have fun that day - try not to dwell on it - I would probably be at that watering hole with a group of close friends who can help brighten your day ... I just wanted you to know that I would have you in my thoughts ..... Good Luck tomorrow - Keep your chin up... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am really sorry you are having to go through this. I went through this at the end of July this year. My xh married the OW he left me and my 2 boys for last summer. Our D was final beginning of this year. Didn't waste any time.

Thankfully, my xh never told me about when he was getting married and I found out from the newspaper.............I had already made plans that weekend with my children to go on vacation. We went on our vacation and I made it a point to have a wonderful time.........and we did. I concentrated on my children and on myself. I can't say it didn't bother me some but I am very thankful that I am not married to him anymore and I feel sorry for the OW he married.

Just reflect on yourself and your daughter. A marriage that comes from an affair is not starting out on the right foot. That is something they will have to deal with. Concentrate on you and your daughter. Don't sit around and think about your xw's marriage, go do something or go somewhere.

Everything happens for a reason.........all you can do is move on with your life and live your life to the fullest.

Kathy

My EW married OM in june we were only divorced a year and he was divorced a few months, I beleive they just had to prove they both did the right thing. They haven't been together 2yrs yet and that seems to be the magic number, I kinda felt sorry for them. I don't beleive it will last. Anyway when I found out I felt some sadness but for the best part I moved forward and treated it just like any other day.

Well, I went through it two years ago. (I'm Jane-Elise and I'm an MB addict. Do we have a 12-step program?)

I did the usual chick thing. Told a friend what the deal was and made plans to take care of me. Drowning it might not work because the next day you might have to nurse the headache. Any good games you could take in.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by catamount82:
<strong>Well, tomorrow is the big day. XW and Mr. Person (as Daughter calls him) are tying the knot. My feelings are currently ranging from the old anger to relief with everything in betwixt.
I'd love to hear from others who have met this day and what kind of things you did on your X's wedding day. Jay</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I found out the date my ex-spouse married later on when she was stupid enough to send me another Motion from the Court (lately though, she's given up on them) and I saw her wedding date - and I rejoiced that she now NO LONGER had my Last Name.
If I had known, I guess I would have celebrated the fact that she was entering into someone else's life and that it was CEMENTING the fact that she also, was moving on without me. I am not bitter, hateful, jealous, etc. of her, but I sure pity the poor fool she married - yeah I met him a few times - I looked up "Hen Pecked" in the Webster's Dictionairy and his pic was next to it... I do feel kinda sorry for him once he finds out he married a Control Freak and Verbal Abuser - old past Karma debts maybe? LOL...
Of course, he was stoopit enuff to leave a beautiful slim blonde wife for...this??! Only explanation I could come up with was... "Truly, Love is BLIND" - I mean, nothing else could possibly explain it. At any rate, I sure wasn't angry about it - I think they'll 'get theirs soon enuff' as one of my ex's favourite sayings was: "What goes around - comes around" Lord, I sure hope it's true, because she's got HELL to pay!
Still laughing after all these years...
Harold

catamount,

You can survive this, too. My exH got married a couple months after we divorced. It just does cement the fact that things are over. In one way, I am glad he remarried right away, as it did help to propel me forward much faster.

For the sake of your children, you may want to get to the point where you can wish they both success in their union. The reason why? Your kids need stability in THEIR lives, too, not a revolving door of men. By praying for success in their relationship, you will begin to find the peace and strength YOU need to continue to forge a happier life for yourself.

May God bless you and give you the peace and happiness you truly deserve!

RMA

So far, Austin and I are still legal and until the D, he can't get M'd to Ms. Monkeyho..Plus she dumped him as far as I know now. But that may change..However, if they did do the M thing...

I would be very creative and lay low until the D day..And this blonde would drop a bomb while looking like a bombeshell. I would get even. hee heee heeeee.

I've thought about this...I would probably do something really cool. Like show up at the wedding because it would be Ms. Monekyho's first (but not her first married man, her fourth) and she would want to attempt to wear white...I would save up some dog poop (I have a really big dog) and throw it in front of her as she entered the church. It would get stuck on her shoe and really stink. I would then enter the church just after she walked down aisle and before Austin came forward to greet her. That way the congregation would see me in my glory.. ha ha. I'd slink smiling all the while to my seat and proceed to cough through the whole ceremony. The cough would sound more like wh..re.. Then when they asked the question if anyone objected I would raise my hand and say that God finds this M very offensive to Him. And then I would add that I find their adultery very offensive to me and my family. Plus I would say that I found her dress to be offensive as well to my very good taste and I dislike her bridesmaid dresses also. Then I would end with, "now don't let me get started on these God awful flower arrangements and color scheme folks."

I would be wearing a very tight black dress and a cool pair of blahnik high heeled shoes that I'd have to pay a king's ransom for. I would have on cool shades and b/c I am a blonde, I would look really good..It would be an outfit probably best suited if I were a golddigging widow at her wealthy husband's or illicit lover's funeral. But then he'd be no longer my H, and I would be burying it there and I think it would be a perfect outfit. That should be the fashion rule. How to dress for a funeral/wedding of your former spouse: black. Definitely black.

This is just wishful thinking...Probably just Ms. Monkeyho's wishful thinking or my stbx..She did break up with him. Anyone wanna know WHY???? She though He cheated on HER...He is still legally married to me thru all of this. Oh, his poor, betrayed mistress. All her planning and homewrecking for a year and a half gone down the drain.
Hey, let's talk about OUR NEXT weddings..

That would be more positive. I want to get married on an island. Married in a little church in the middle of the town square. I even know which city it will take place in b/c believe it or not, used to live in carribean when young. Armed forces brat. I will indeed wear a strapless white designer gown and one of my old college tiaras as the, well tiara. Will attach a simple veil to it. Son will be in the wedding as best man and will give me away. I want to get married at sunset. And I will wear white blahnik strappy high heels. I just want some of them. Saw them in a store recently and just drooled. I will have a new engagement ring and this time it will be a pear shaped solitare. I will turn my old solitare into a necklace with solitare hitting me in just the right place in middle of the neck and accentuate my, well, lower neck region. ha ha. That would really irk Austin as I have a nice lower neck region. He would have to see my new necklace set on platinum chain that way forever. I will use the old platinum and diamond band to make earrings. I have the whole thing planned out. A definite new twist on the something old,(my re done necklace and earrings) something blue (that will be Austin when I move on) something borrowed (will use tag from Ms. Monkeyho's baseball cap which I confiscated from Austin's overnight bag last year) and something new will be basically, me and my new hottie husband.
Then we will stay at the island for three days of no sleep and then off to a south pacific cruise or to the mediterranean.

Can't a girl dream??? Especially looking forward to the no sleeping three day part sometime.

WOW NPIG! You've given this some thought now haven't you, ha! You go girl!! Make sure you invite us all to your WH's wedding - I'm in the mood for a good laugh. -nel <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Not peachy in GA:
<strong>I would be very creative and lay low until the D day..And this blonde would drop a bomb while looking like a bombeshell. I would get even. hee heee heeeee.

I've thought about this...I would probably do something really cool. Like show up at the wedding because it would be Ms. Monekyho's first (but not her first married man, her fourth) and she would want to attempt to wear white...I would be wearing a very tight black dress and a cool pair of blahnik high heeled shoes that I'd have to pay a king's ransom for. I would have on cool shades and b/c I am a blonde, I would look really good..It would be an outfit probably best suited if I were a golddigging widow at her wealthy husband's or illicit lover's funeral. But then he'd be no longer my H, and I would be burying it there and I think it would be a perfect outfit. That should be the fashion rule. How to dress for a funeral/wedding of your former spouse: black. Definitely black.

This is just wishful thinking...Probably just Ms. Monkeyho's wishful thinking or my stbx..She did break up with him. Anyone wanna know WHY???? She though He cheated on HER...He is still legally married to me thru all of this. Oh, his poor, betrayed mistress. All her planning and homewrecking for a year and a half gone down the drain.
A definite new twist on the something old,(my re done necklace and earrings) something blue (that will be Austin when I move on) something borrowed (will use tag from Ms. Monkeyho's baseball cap which I confiscated from Austin's overnight bag last year) and something new will be basically, me and my new hottie husband.
Then we will stay at the island for three days of no sleep and then off to a south pacific cruise or to the mediterranean.

Can't a girl dream??? Especially looking forward to the no sleeping three day part sometime.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL! NPIGA, I loved it! You have a wonderful sense of humour, keep it up. It's nice to hear someone else on these Boards who has done a little 'imagining' about 'what could be' - you keep going! Laughter healed me also, and some of us are further along than others; however, ALL are in the process of healing...
Ha! Wearing a tight black dress to your Ex's wedding with his 'ho - what creativity! I bet she'd choke when she saw you cruising down the Aisle!
Veeeeeeeeeery creative! Perhaps you ought to start a thread entitled "What I Did @ My Ex's Wedding"...
I'll be watching for it...
Harold
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks everybody for your responses. Not too Peachy, you are as warped as I am; if I had the time I would drum something up comparable to your "plan".

After work, I went to Ground Zero, more for the "field trip" aspect as I'm a Professional Engineer, but the "hallowed" nature of the place also put life in perspective. After leaving there, I decided I needed some new casual shoes so I stumbled upon a cute little shoe store on Chambers Street. I found a pair, and when I was checking out, had a short converstion with the owner:

Me: "I thought I'd buy myself something nice today since my XW is getting married in 25 minutes"

Him: "Well as they say in Irish, 'Mazeltov'; you mean you weren't invited to the wedding?"

Me: "No way, are you kidding? I should've been the best man though."

Him: "You probably were."

And he handed me my shoes. I can't tell you how uplifting this was.

Anyway, that's past....

In a month, I move into my new home..........can't wait!!!!! 32 days to go!!!

<small>[ September 22, 2002, 07:50 AM: Message edited by: catamount82 ]</small>

I got a giggle out of that...'as they say in Irish, Mazeltov." That's not Irish. That's Yiddish. Hey, love that multi-culturalism....my very blonde non-jewish sone let out an 'Oy, vey' last year in math class. Funny thing is, the teacher was Jewish but he didn't hear it from her - I know because I asked.

Catamount
I'm sorry you're feeling bad about the day. I hope it's gotten better. It's time for you to move on, and the new house will make it feel like progress.
We should try to plan another NJ MB night out soon.
I can't access the site from work anymore, and I find myself needing it less, so I hardly log on at home. But e-mail me if you'd like.
My support group has some comedy nights out soon, and you're welcome to come along.