How often do you folks hear about reconciliation after divorce? I am crazy about my wife. We have been together for 24 years and married for 21 1/2. Our D will be final on Oct. 3rd. I am already thinking of ways to reconcile. She says and I believe her, that she is not interested in anybody else. She got tired of me drinking on the weekends. I quit 4 months ago. She said that she loved me, but was not in love with me. Our 17 year old daughter is living with me and our 8 year old son is living with her. I pursued her during the separation and that set her off. She said she needs her space. Our counselor and Pastor said to geive her the space/divorce and wait for a few months and then start to approach her. What does everyone think?

Dodger,

Welcome to MB. It's no fun to be here, but it's better than trying to navigate this stage of life without any help!

If reconciliation with your W is what you desire, then stick to your ideals! However, it will probably be a long and difficult road.

First off, read everything you can from this site. Read ALL the concepts, and begin to understand what you have done to cause the weaknesses in your M (that's MB short for "Marriage")that led you here. You've already mentioned some things you understand about what your W did not like (about your drinking), and you also mentioned that you're working on the problem.

You can read much of my "story" in my sig line. I was married almost as long as you, so I understand the feelings. It turns out my H didn't leave me for another woman, either, so I'm still mystified. I also understand those feelings.

I wish I could tell you there has been a happy ending in my story, but not yet! I haven't given up hope yet, so I trust you won't either! The week-ends are usually very quiet, so hang in there, and eventually you will get more "traffic" on your thread.

If you want to read about "happy endings" and reconciliations, go over to Recovery. It may not be easy, but it definitely is possible. If you can afford it, you might want to counsel with one of the Harleys. The link to their counseling center is at the top of this page. Just click on it, and the numbers you need will pop up.

If you have any other questions, I'll try to answer them, or find someone who can!

God Bless,

my divorce is set for nov 26, i'm plan aing, however don't see any different reaction from him, just that he is happy with OW, they have moved on, i would also like to know what the chances are of reconciling after divorce. i have a feeling he will not stop the divorce, as he wants it as soon as possible.

Hi,

I only have a few minutes right now, but have a question related to what you wrote:

She got tired of me drinking on the weekends. I quit 4 months ago.

Have you gone to AA or have you quit on your own?

God Bless,

D.

I quit drinking on my own. I did go to AA for about 6 weeks, but I had already made up my mind to stop. I haven't missed it a bit. I am still going to try to save our relationship. Our divorce will be final 1 week from Friday (Oct.3rd). I am very sad, but I am hoping that a new relationship will be born out of the ashes of the old one. I am sober and a lot more in control of my surroundings now. She is beginning to see some of the reality. She is still dead set on the divorce, but hopefully, if I give her the space and time, she will return to "the scene of the crime". We still have to have contact as we have 2 children. 1 with her and 1 with me.
Thanks all for the comments. Should I keep it up?