OK, so now I know. Dr. Harley's work is logical, sensible, doable, and it works.<BR>I am 43 and recovering from a 19-year marriage (one year divorced now) and *am* looking forward to the future with plans and high expectations and a hope and plans to be in a GOOD relationship. (My marriage involved a workaholic who put his job and our son first before "us" and refused to read books like Dr. Harley's *and* fought with our couples therapist over her advice and suggestion to reorder priorities. It is a blessing to be free.) So now *I* know about the keys to a good relationship. But how and where do I find a guy who is *also* clued in to this revolutionary way of relating and living? I think I'm going to be in for a LOT of disappointment, dead ends and hurt. I've already spent almost a lifetime acting as a "teacher" about good relationships for guys who go on to someone else... Ideas?

wordvixen,<P>Your post could bring some interesting responses on the "divorce/divorcing" board. You should take this post there too, the variety of input is great.<P>I read your words loud and clear! Just today I was thinking about the promise I made to myself...burning all the self-help books I bought to "fix me", "fix him", "fix the marriage". Today, dead ends yes, disappointment maybe. The wonderful thing is that you are seeing flags. Stay focused, you'll find that person when you least expect it. God willing, I hope we all do someday!<P>"The right type of nothing is worth ten times more than the wrong type of something."<P>Peace,<BR>Ragamuffin